2nd of January – The official ‘Carpe Diem’ Day:

This day’s tradition is all about blowing life into your veins. It’s a day to laugh…to gain a few more facial expression wrinkles but to become 10 years younger nevertheless. It’s a day to dance in the rain, to feel the sun on your skin. It’s a day to do all the crazy things you wouldn’t do on any ordinary day. Life must paint this day and hopefully you’ll repeat it once or twice throughout the year. Remember: just be yourself, there are no rules about this day, except one: seize it!

Survivor's Day – Holiday for adult children of dysfunctional families who find the idea of celebrating Father's or Mother's Day as appealing as hunting with d**k Cheney. This holiday is celebrated INSTEAD of Mother's Day, Father's Day or any traditional family holiday (Christmas, Thanksgiving…)that traumatized you the most, making Survivor’s Day a holiday that can be celebrated many times a year.

Traditions include viewing of the family’s Jerry Springer, Dr. Phil and/or Cops appearances, sending cards to favorite therapists and scar comparisons, capped off by a Midnight Meeting with the 12-step group of your choice.

This wonderful holiday is full of happy drunken animals and “Me-arfing”. It started long ago in d**keyville, Wisconsin with a strange man named Kroby Micklefugger and his pet ostrich named Vaseline V1ctorya. Every June 30th people buy gallons of Mexican Tequila. Around the world people sit with their fellow pets and get drunk, exchange dead moose carcasses and stuff themselves with moldy catnip liver. It’s a time for flea scratching and peeing in plants and just not giving a hoot! So next June 30th, spend some good quality time with your flea ridden friends and sing heart warming Me-arfa songs.

Cuddle day
March 3
Winter was too long and spring is still too far away. A whole day off to cuddle on the sofa with your loved ones or best friends. Instead of flowers, everbody brings a quilt or snuggle blanket.

Ice Cream-day
May 12
Frost has gone - enter the ice cream season. Meet family and friends for a huge ice-cream-social with self-made ice-cream.

Great Weather Day
This is a movable holiday, proclaimed by each state individually. When the weather forecast for the next day is great, the governor will announce spontaneously that tomorrow is 'Great Weather Day' and everybody will have fun outside.

Five Clucks Day is celebrated on 22nd June. It is the anniversary of the day the Sacred Chicken first saw the Sacred Goldfish; on this momentous occasion, the Sacred Chicken clucked five times. This was to signify that five pinches of fish food must be given as a gift to the Sacred Goldfish.

To celebrate this important day it is traditional to present five small gifts to friends and family on 22nd June. Before giving these gifts (wrapped in gold to symbolise the Sacred Goldfish) the presenter of the gifts must cluck like a chicken five times. In this way the tradition of the Sacred Chicken is preserved.

This holiday takes place on August 16. The origins of this holiday date back to the 1st half of the 8th decade of the 20th century. People who celebrate Madonna day traditionally give each other acting lessons and hair dye, as a way of celebrating the goddess of 20th and early 21st century popular music.
Traditionalists to the day sing songs about holidays and lucky stars, whilst the more unorthodox followers like to chant “music makes the people come together” while taking rides in huge white limousines.
Some of the more diligent follower even marry Englishmen and call their children Rocco or Lourdes, in some cases both.

This is the day when all American families come together and go out to find a lost or homeless puppy on the street or in a shelter.

Every year in spring lots of young puppies are born, but many aren’t welcome in the homes of their mother’s owners. They end up living on the streets.

By adopting one of these unfortunate puppies each year right after spring, families grow together while taking care of the cute puppy, showing it one final good time.

The next day, the entire family gathers around the table and shares the puppy, cooked according to an ancient recipe, for there needs to be place for another puppy next year.

Lawn Gnome Appreciation Day is an annual event in the United States, Canada, England and Iceland that celebrates lawn gnomes. Traditional celebrations pay homage to the history and culture of lawn gnomes and typically include a modest feast of shrubs and bugs. An endurance test starts at dawn of the first day where participants see who can stay completely still in a single joyous pose for the longest time. Recently the traditional celebration has taken a back seat to more accessible and commercial forms of the holiday, which lead to the formation of the Lawn Gnome Appreciation Day Preservation Society.

On the last Friday in March, Poles will traditionally spend their day off walking through the forest, followed by an open fire with sausages and vodka at dusk. Children receive gifts of licorice spiders.

History:
This peculiar holiday dates back to King Jarosław II the Unhappy (1548-1604). This king had a pathological fear of spiders throughout his life, and ordered that they be exterminated from Poland. He imposed an annual quota of dead spiders on every village, to be shown to tax collectors at the end of each tax year. The Friday beforehand was spent by villagers desperately trying to complete the quota by searching the land for spiders. The spider quota became a nominal amount and was continued until 1742 when it was abolished, but the traditional holiday remained.

Taking place near the end of June, parents can re-live this childhood experiences. Schools are hot and children are antsy, just as their parents were many years ago. They are ready to jump out of their seats when that final bell rings, but rarely accept the fact that they have to return to this dungeon of education the following day. After spending eight hours in a hot building, perhaps parents will gain a new outlook on their jobs. Most likely, however, they'll just be glad they don't have to return the next day.