That butter is slicker than the unusual discharge of my sisters last yeast infection.

You are sitting on a stoop, your head in your hands, feeling melancholy. A friend asks if you're alright. You say,

Are you kidding? I'm bluer than a SIDS baby.

The train moved down the track slowly, the cars looking like the push, clench, push, clench of my last bowel movement.

She kissed like a slug in heat.

"Yer about as smooth as corn diarrhea"

The terra cotta stucco on their new home has the luminous brilliance of congealed cat vomit .

More moving than maggot filled pustules inhabiting the blackened, leaking sores of plague victims.

(Use when describing how deeply a movie/picture/piece of art/T.V. show/book/etc. affected you)

More rewarding than running over the bloated, bloodied festering corpse of the neighbor's screeching cat, then making the block to do it again.

The ivory silk trains of her wedding gown flowed like the buttery secretions of month old head cheese.

Dan: I’ll give you 20 W1K Credits to ask out the most hideous woman at work.
Mike: How about Revella?
Dan: She’s not the soggiest puss-filled abrasion in the mouth, but she'll do.