H5H: Expand Basic Plotline

H5H: Expand Basic Plotline

donteatpoop vs. mennufer vs. Nim vs. ElphabaFaye vs. ForeverNow
Contest ended 5 years ago 5/7/2007 12:00:00 AM EDT

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  • Cost: 10 credits
  • Jackpot: 10 credits

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First Place
# 1
By ElphabaFaye (Score: 7.752)
10

I’m not sure when I realized what exactly was going on. For such a long flight, my molecules had been compressed into a space approximately one centimeter square, and decompression always left me a bit disoriented. Still, things didn’t feel right this time.

My first awareness was of an orange glare along one side of my body. When I pushed myself up off the decompression table, my hands exploded in a sensation of green. Bits of pink tickled at my face. I took a deep breath, and heard a chirping against my tongue and felt softness against my nose. I rubbed my eyes and saw my fingertips, but when I wasn’t touching my eyelids my eyes took in a smell similar to fresh-cut grass. When I blinked, the smell went away for a flicker of an instant.

I did a quick inventory of my senses, and realized that something must have gone wrong. Curious, I ran my hands across my chest, and saw quite clearly the insignia of my uniform against my palms. Experimentally, I pushed one finger into my ear and tasted the salt-sweat of my nervous skin. I also got a great view of my eardrum. Opening my mouth, I could hear the clicking getting louder, almost frantic. I turned my head, and it grew louder, and my eyes took in a bitter combination of unwashed body and something else I couldn’t identify. It reminded me a bit of my sister’s pet snake, though. It was a scaly smell. I debated sniffing the air to see if I could feel scales, but thought better of it. Better to lay back down and push the call button, and wait for help. Something like purple grass pressed against my back. My suit was made to be fairly transparent, but I could still see the individual threads pressed against my spine. I closed my eyes and the reptilian smell disappeared.

I had just about dozed off when a bright flash of yellow circled one wrist. It was intensely bright, and I had the curious thought that if I were being grabbed, it was probably roughly, but I couldn’t feel a thing. I opened my mouth and let in furious chirping noises. They exploded against my tongue like pop-rocks. My eyes were full of the reptile-smell from earlier. I shut my mouth and eyes in an attempt to give at least two of my confused senses a rest.

More yellow, this time on my jaw. There was a triangular pattern of yellows mixed with reds and oranges, in seven spots. The spots were roughly round. I wondered if they were fingers, gripping my face. I opened my mouth again and tried to speak, but the sounds against my tongue confused me, and I could barely hear my own frustrated babbling. I opened my eyes and tried to concentrate on what I was sensing. The reptile smell was overlaid with a metallic twang, and something earthy underneath it.

For one brief instant, I was thrilled. I had been sent here to determine if this planet could sustain life, and obviously it had some sort of life-form. Unfortunately, that life-form didn’t seem thrilled that I was there. At least, I didn’t think it did. I experimentally opened my mouth and concentrated on the sounds. There were several layers of popping, clicking, and chirping. I assumed that meant that whatever had me was not alone. As I was pondering this, the yellow spots left my face, and were replaced by pale pink ones. These trailed along my cheeks in soft trails of color, and reminded me of rose petals drifting on water. As they neared my eyes, the metallic smell grew stronger.

I was so busy concentrating on my conflicting senses that I almost forgot to make the mandatory periodic contacts to help the crew find me. Besides, I wanted to be the first to announce the life I’d found on this strange new planet. I knew I didn’t have much to tell them, but still, details could be filled in later. For now, just being able to say I’d found life was enough. I tried to reach my call button, tucked in a fold of my uniform, when the metallic smell became overpowering. I saw red spreading across my face. A thin line of it trickled into my ear, and I tasted blood. It was then that I began to panic.

***Can I just say, this is THE hardest thing I've ever tried to write?! Please point out any glaring errors.

Word count: 757
 
2
By Nim (Score: 7.266)
7

The first thing I noticed as the crisp smell of particles flashed through my nasal cavities was the sound of my need to pee. It didn’t occur to me, initially, that this was odd. In fact, my first thought was that I should have emptied my singing bladder before mounting the blasted transporter, but I’d been so preoccupied with my resistance to the infernal thing that I’d forgotten. Never mind the virtually unknown alien world to which I was being sent; what I knew about the transporter frightened me more than what I didn’t know about my destination.

It was at the first taste of their communication attempts that I realized that freaking machine had indeed fouled me up. The forms before me appeared mostly greenish beige, but somehow I knew that if my senses had been working correctly, I’d have seen them as skinned and bleeding giraffes the size of large aardvarks. The smell of red momentarily tore my attention from my whistling urethra.

I raised my creaking hand. “I come peacefully,” I said, choking back the taste of the half-truth. The nearest alien opened part of its body. The odor of its orifice was nauseating, but matched with the sweet spiciness of its words, I was overwhelmed. I turned and vomited, recoiling at the burning sensation. I turned on my extracom.

“Base,” I said sourly, “I’m having difficulty making contact.”

The acrid, ozone flavor of the response I received from my extracom gave me only one piece of information: I was on my own.

Fortunately, the transporter was set such that I’d be returned to base automatically within thirty minutes. Assuming I could keep myself alive for that long, I knew I had a good chance of returning. However, there was no chance that I could keep my howling bladder intact that long. I needed relief, and it would come one way or another.

It was difficult to ascertain my immediate danger level. What, exactly, do razor-sharp teeth smell like? And what is the taste of a menacing growl? The only thing I knew for certain was that if I didn’t relieve myself soon, I would quickly learn my new companion’s social views on wetting oneself in mixed company. I attempted a weak-sounding smile and turned away.

I tasted their confused murmurs as I stepped away toward a round-smelling potted plant. The relief I heard moments later was the Hallelujah Chorus. Never had I heard such beautiful music. Nor have I since.

With a tangy zip of my jumper, and renewed energy at the silence of my bladder, I turned again to face the aliens. They smelled much shorter.

For the next five minutes, they bowed and gesticulated (I somehow knew this due to the smell of rubber, sandalwood, and oregano). The mood had changed. I tasted marmalade and butter. Though I still don’t know how I knew, I was certain that they were expressing admiration.

They led me to another room. I heard myself sit down, and after a long, flavorful speech given by the apparent leader, I was treated to a feast of what I assume was their best cuisine.

The food smelled like it looked awful (and vice versa!), but out of courtesy and fear I ate. It felt palatable, though it took a while for my tongue to accustom itself to the textures of velvet, sea foam, and fine sand. The food in my mouth sounded much like untalented stage hands warming up an out-of-tune orchestra. However, I was still grateful not to be the main course myself, so I was polite.

I must have lost track of time, because I found myself surprised by the crunchy sound of particles. The automatic transporter had initiated. Surprise was replaced with horror when I returned home with my senses in order. My mouth was full of hairy, gelatinous goo that tasted like the spleen of a sick octopus dipped in chocolate syrup and mulch.

When we all were able to get the vomiting under control and take a look at the video transcript, we realized that my choice of urinal had not been a potted plant, but in fact some sort of important artifact of the culture. They mistook my physical relief as a valuable offering. Their necks shrunk (yes, they in fact did resemble skinned and bleeding giraffe-like aardvarks!) and they spent the rest of the time I was there treating me like a god.

Our work isn’t done, and my deity status makes me the only one for the job. I must return now. I’ve had plenty to drink, and I’m bracing myself at the prospect of facing another appreciative feast. As I stand on the transporter again, I’m moved by the irony. God, hear my prayer: Please let this blasted thing malfunction again!

Word count: 800
 
3
By mennufer (Score: 6.7)
10

***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

October 14, 2417

I have arrived on Sevra Prime more or less intact. As anticipated, the teleport reconfigured me roughly three miles outside of one of the natives' larger settlements. The area is covered with dense vegetation, which will shroud my movements until I choose to make contact.

Notes: Tell Bud the teleporter's neural resequencing program seems to be out of whack. Clarity of subsequent reports may suffer as a result.

***END TRANSMISSION***


***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

October 15, 2417

It is taking me longer than expected to reach the Sevran settlement. Apparently the bug in the resequencing program has caused a strange numbness in all my limbs, which has in turn affected my dexterity. I have fallen many times because of my inability to judge the stability of the rocks and plants covering the ground. It is only through the accident of a broken finger that I realized my brain is interpreting my sense of touch as though it were input from my taste buds. Further misadventures involving a well-concealed animal carcass have revealed that odors now feel as though I absorb them through the skin – through every square inch of my skin. I have decided to spend as much time as possible getting used to my rewired senses.

Notes: My tongue feels like someone smashed it with a sledgehammer. Tell Bud that when I get back, he's going to know what that feels like.

***END TRANSMISSION***


***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

October 21, 2417

First of all, my apologies for the delay in my report. I have since made contact with the Sevrans. Despite all attempts at a non-confrontational meeting, the Sevrans were extremely upset at my arrival. They have locked me in what seems to be an interrogation room and took my computer; however, they have left me my transmitter – obviously – and don't seem to be jamming my communications. I have been given food and drink, the former being spicy enough to make my eyes bleed.

Notes: *A brief description of the Sevrans* Surprisingly, the Sevrans are a humanoid species – the first we have encountered thus far in our travels among the stars. But, although they are approximately the size of humans, the low gravity has encouraged a lengthening of proportions. Their skin is pebbly, almost reptilian, yet warm to the taste, and exhibits an array of brilliant green hues matching the surrounding flora. Clothing is simple and functional with little decoration. It seems the authorities – assuming the Sevrans who have imprisoned me are the ones in charge – wear varying numbers of small gold leaves on their shoulders as insignia.

***END TRANSMISSION***


***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

October 25, 2417

Again, I apologize for the delay. The Sevrans confiscated my transmitter soon after my last transmission. I can hear slight scoring at the seams, so I imagine they dissected my equipment to get some idea of how advanced our technology is. Their technicians did a decent job at putting it back together. It appears functional, but I am still wary of my own perceptions, so there is the distinct possibility that I'm talking to myself right now.

Notes: Bud, I swear I'm going to pound the crap out of you when I get back. My tongue aches from all the bruises, the food burns my retinas, the harsh lighting they prefer is giving me an earache, I get nosebleeds from the sound of their voices, and every single time I breathe in a new and exciting Sevran odor my skin threatens to rip itself from my body. You'd better find a good place to hide.

***END TRANSMISSION***


***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

November 2417

I'm not sure what day it is. They took my transmitter again. I would rather not use it, but I guess there's no reason not to; they've already gotten the information they need. They backtracked the signal from the transponder. Dammit, I should've realized it a long time ago! They took me to one of their military bases and showed me data from one of their probes. They know where we are, and they know our technology. I think it was my showing up unannounced that got to them. They think I'm a scout. God, I'm so sorry! I have to go now. Give my love to my family.

***END TRANSMISSION***

Word count: 709