“Oh boy, going outside. My favorite thing. . . .. . .

Yes, coming inside, My favorite thing. Happy, happy. . . . .

A treat! Yes! My favorite thing. Yay! . . . . .

Scratch my ears. Ooooh, that feels so good. My favorite thing. . . . .

Oh boy, I GET A NAP. Life is good. It’s my favorite thing . . . ."

Cake: Oh yes, you want me lady, you want me! I’m so gooey and delicious. You’ve paid into that dental plan for years, secretly waiting for me to come and enhance your life. My time on this plate may be short, but on those hips I can live forever, FOREVER!

White bread, frozen pizza, peanut butter, beer.
Obviously a single guy.

Oranges, more beer, chips, grape jelly.
A single guy with little imagination.

Cans of chili, more beer, generic paper towels, roach spray.
OK, single guy with no imagination and no girlfriend.

JaxomLOTUS:

Hmm... the top entry on the comment status needs improving. ‘Baby Buggy Bumper’ is just too mundane. We need something that shows mindless dedication to replying to every possible thread...

AH! Got it. ‘bevissimo’

Celticfrog:

Let’s see. Mennufer asked for something hard... Gravity reverses. What once floated now sinks, while rocks fly into space. OK, now to make it tough. You own a balloon factory you want to save. You cannot use the letter ‘e’.

Word Limit 498, exactly. That ought to do it.

"Uh oh. Here he comes again...maybe he doesn't see me, oh please, keep walking...keep walking. No, no stop sniffing me...no not the leg, Put the leg down! Stop it..ugh!"

Abraham Lincoln- "I hate coming to the Ford theater... I wish someone would just shoot me!"

"Step, step, arm out, turn, face jab, right hook -- no wait! This is DANCING! Concentrate... step out and twist, down and up, pop hip to the right, block and jab - Aaargh! "

Plastic bags rustling! The steps are coming this direction! WHEEEEEEEEK!! Quickly - must get to the side of the cage. WHEEEEEEEEK!! Whatdoesshehave? Whatdoesshehave? Look! Look, I'm pulling myself up on the cage bars! Parsley, parsley! Look! I'm biting the bars! Parsley! .........hmmm, cilantro.

Big Fluffy Cotton Ball - I could've been somebody. A powder puff for a big Hollywood star, like Jessica Simpson. Or maybe a Tribble on Star Trek, but nooooooooooo! I have to be the tail end of pink bunny suit for someone called Arsi!