Achtung! Idiot

Achtung! Idiot

Warning labels for the intellectually challenged.
Contest ended 8 years ago 11/27/2003 12:00:00 AM EDT

Contest Info

  • Cost: 2 credits
  • Jackpot: 74 credits

Contest Options

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First Place
# 1
By Kingtriton (Score: 6.177)
0

Etched into the bottom of a bullet:
Warning! harmfull or fatal if swallowed at high velocity.

Word count: 16
 
Second Place
# 2
By Spook (Score: 6.07)
1

Tampax: Warning, do not light the fuse.

Word count: 7
 
Third Place
# 3
By Spook (Score: 5.966)
1

Trojan Condom: Not dishwasher safe.

Word count: 5
 
4
By squaredd (Score: 5.909)
2

Wahning: Duh nah tuss tung wiss gluh on fingah.

Word count: 9
Please do not critique my entry.
 
5
By Renaye (Score: 5.818)
0

WARNING: Using this device to dry live animals may produce undesired results. Please ensure that only inanimate objects are put into the machine.

Word count: 23
 
6
By innerspace (Score: 5.617)
1

Toronto Maple Leafs jersey: WARNING! May cause your friends to pity you.

Word count: 12
 
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7
By KingPoo (Score: 5.488)
0

The inflatable life-vest will not substitute for a parachute.

Word count: 9
 
8
By Renaye (Score: 5.463)
1

WARNING: Despite your likely urgent need for the contents of this kit, please ensure that you are wearing protective eyewear before opening. Contents are packed under extreme pressure; opening too quickly may cause either or both of the two fasteners to break into pieces of high-speed projectile plastic. If flying plastic causes wound to face, please use the quality antiseptics and bandages conveniently provided inside the kit to treat wound. If plastic flies into nose, lodging itself deeply, please use the versatile large tweezers provided inside the kit to remove, then treat any abrasions with antiseptic. If plastic goes hurtling into your eye, please first note that we warned you, then proceed to nearest emergency care facility.

Word count: 117
 
0

Not for use on pies, hair, teeth, shoes or your car.

Word count: 11
 
0

Warning: May cover feet.

Word count: 4
 

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