Its raining now outside
the trees are drooping low with the weight
and the men walk quickly and with purpose
like the birds fly fast so the water willl not soak them to the bone.
the sun will not come
the rain will continue to fall
hard and dark
cold and wet
until my eyes can rest
and my chest can expand
and contract again
without taking in water.
My breath is heavy,
and my heart pumps slow and it crawls
almost to a hault.
It squeezes itself.
Soon it wil freeze and crack and shatter
if it gets cold enough.
Without the sunshine.
The brightness. The warmth.
My eyes are tired of darkness,
and my heart is tired of almost stopping.
When I see her
it is like a mirage.
It is like the sun coming out from the clouds,
breaking through with beauty and might and grace
and sending the rain
to the back of my mind.
When I see her
my eyes quarrel with the concept
of receiving both rest and excruciating excitement.
my heart fights the same fight with itself.
My stomach as well.
My chest contracts and expands at the same time.
When she smiles and laughs
and runs with her arms out
and she says she loves me
and we collide in an embrace that shakes the stars
I am experiencing the sun,
in all of its glory,
dispersing the rain into steam,
and extinguishing the clouds.
In thrree months the weather will change
and the rain will stop coming every day and night
when the sun is not near.
And I need the sun
so desperately.