Captain Wahoo. Legend in his own mind.
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After his search of the island revealed no Klond*ike bars, Wahoo faced the grim reality that this was, in fact, a DESERT island, not a dessert island, like he first thought. All was not lost, though, as Wahoo had his beloved cats with him, and upon searching for Klond*ikes, he stumbled across an asparagus plantation, his favourite vegetable…and thus King Asparagus was born!