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All Arenas \ Writing \ Writing Advanced

Text Speed Round: Awful Analogies and Mangled Metaphors

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch-tree."

Contest ended 3 years ago 9/25/2008 12:00:00 AM EDT

Contest Info

Cost: 10 credits
Jackpot: 100 credits

Contest Options

32 Contest Entries

# 1

Bittersweet Feeling

By BoC (Score: 8.092)

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The relationship over, John's relief was bittersweet; kind of like having a long fall broken by a pile of babies.

Word count: 20

# 2

Awkward

By BoC (Score: 8.022)

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There was an awkward silence. Not 'passing gas in polite company' awkward; more like 'newly-appointed head of the The Nature Conservancy stepping on the only one known to exist Northern albino reticulated squirrel and crushing its head like an egg on a nationally-televised dedication ceremony' awkward.

Word count: 46

# 3

Prose

By Fanatic (Score: 7.846)

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His writing was tortured, not just water-boarded, but nail-extracted, tar-and-feathered, iron-maidened, drawn-and-quartered agony in which verbs screamed for mercy and nouns turned into amorphous lumps of quivering flesh, never to see the light of a decent haiku again, let alone a sonnet.

Word count: 42

Speed bump

By BoC (Score: 7.42)

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Their relationship hit a bump in the road. Not the low, graceful kind of bump, reminiscent of a child's choo choo train-themed roller coaster; rather the kind of tall, narrow speed-bump that, if a school bus ran over it, would cause even a fat kid to fly up and bang his head on the ceiling. That kind of bump.

Word count: 59

Ticking Bomb

By Anni (Score: 7.387)

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The clock slowly ticked down the minutes until his dad got home, not a nice gentle lulling tick, but more like when you’re standing next to a bomb and you can read the timer display and it’s already at seven seconds and you’re chained to the table it’s sitting on.

Word count: 50

Touch

By Fanatic (Score: 7.268)

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She touched him softly, getting under his skin, not just superficially, like a localized basal cell carcinoma, but more like a malignant melanoma with metastases in his lungs, brain, bones, and pancreas.

Word count: 32

My Wife

By loremipsum (Score: 7.143)

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Her sinister laugh was both cold and infectious, much like the chicken I would be serving her later.

Word count: 18

Warm and Fuzzy

By diogenese19348 (Score: 7.139)

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The newly hatched Easter chick was warm and fuzzy, much like a leftover tuna salad found at the back of the refrigerator during Spring cleaning.

Word count: 25

Hot Food

By Anni (Score: 6.9)

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She brought the plates over from the buffet table, the steam rising like really recent road kill with its stomach split open and its intestines spilling out in the middle of winter.

Word count: 32

Love Hurts

By Anni (Score: 6.816)

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He looked into her eyes, kind of like that deer caught in the headlights look, only more like the driver who sees the deer in his headlights at the last second and thinks, “Oh crap, this is gonna hurt.”

Word count: 39