Thanksgiving in their new condo was the couples first and the woman wanted to impress her new husband and the two friends who were flying in to share the holiday with them. The shopping had been done and the turkey was roasting in the oven, giving off that special aroma of sage dressing and apple pie wafting throughout the rooms.

Cody dog watched her mistress busily prepare food. The Boxer lay on the floor just at the entrance of the kitchen, mouth dripping in anticipation, hoping that the woman would accidentally drop a tasty morsel and at the same time, watching Boo cat who crouched close by, who was in turn was eying the dog. It would be a race and a game they played to see who would get to the accidental prize first.

So far the cat had won, taking great delight in watching the dog struggle to get traction on the hard wood floor. Nether were allowed in the kitchen when food was being prepared, but if something was dropped the woman looked the other way, while the animals played the game then both would hurry back to their spots for a new chance.

When the telephone rang, the husband who had been watching television answered it. “They are here!” he said. “Let me take the turkey out and by the time we get back from the airport, everything will be ready.” She replied. The woman put the large roaster pan in the middle of the long wide counter and covered it with foil and they left.

The meeting was full of joy and both couples excitedly reminisced and laughed about their life and times until they pulled into the driveway and opened the door of the condo. Silence hit like the after thud of a bolder on soft dirt.

There lay the dog and cat. Stomach’s extended. The dog whimpered between labored breaths. The cat lay on her back with legs in the air, mouth open and wide eyed. The bony carcass of the once 23 pound turkey lay between the two animals. The roasting pan was up side down on the kitchen floor. Juice, oil and dressing spread everywhere.

“We have to call the vet! My God, do you think they might die?” the woman cried. The emergency vet answered the telephone, and then listened to the panicked woman’s voice at the other end.
“They ate the whole turkey.”
“Who ate the whole turkey?”
“Our dog and cat”
“Was it raw?”
“No, it was cooked. We just left to pick up our friends at the airport. We weren’t gone but a half hour.” The voice babbled, then broke, trailing off in tears.
“Try to calm down. Check to see if they ate any of the small bones.”
After a short silence the woman’s voice came back on the line;
“No, the carcass is in tact. They ate all the meat though. It was a 23 pound turkey and they are groaning and their tummies are all hard and bloated. The cat is lying on her back with her legs in the air and the dog isn’t moving” she sobbed.
The vet, trying to keep a straight face and stay professional said,
“Just to be safe, bring both of them into the office on Monday and we’ll do some x-rays. Don’t worry, they may be sick for a few days but everything will pass.” That is when he broke out in laughter, picturing the two animals and what he had seemed to imply.

“How did they get that turkey?” The husband voiced.
It was a mystery and the four people played out different scenarios. The turkey was in the middle of the counter and too far for the dog to reach. The turkey was too heavy for the cat to pick up. Boo cat had to have pulled the turkey and heavy roaster close enough to the edge of the counter for the dog to reach and pull off. They could only assume it was a joint effort and it was a sharing effort so both could eat the booty.

“My dinner is ruined!” the woman cried. The guests started to laugh, and then the man and woman joined in. The men left and came back with Kentucky Fried chicken. It wasn’t turkey but with all the other dishes and the delicious apple pie, it was a Thanksgiving none of them would forget.

The animal’s had not moved or did they certainly did not care about the new aroma of the chicken. They lay on the floor looking at each other and it seemed as if both were smiling as if to say, “We won’t forget this Thanksgiving ether.”

“I get to take two airplanes to see Daddy today” Taylor yelled at her cousin Jake, as he stepped out of the car. Running full speed at him she wrapped her tiny arms around his scruffy neck.
“That’s great,” he replied “I thought you were leaving yesterday, and I wasn’t going to get to see you!” He put her down as she ran back to play with some of the boys. Jake walked into the crowded dining room, the smell of his aunts amazing turkey and stuffing filling the room even though it had long since been devoured.
“Hey Auntie,” he shouted, walking toward the kitchen, “the best part of the family is here”. He heard the outside door open and close again but ignored the fact that his parents were walking far behind him.
“Ohh, my big beautiful boy,” yelled Sandie, too large to leave her chair, but still pulling him into a bone crunching hug. Her typical bright blue eye shadow and silver dolphin jewelry was just as standard as always. He finally wriggled out of her grasps, and turned to Judy, her sister, and polar opposite, bone thin, and highly refined.
“Hi, Jake.” She said rather dryly as she kissed him on the cheek. Jake continued around the house greeting cousins and uncles, mostly drunk to the point where they may or may not have realized who he was. The newest addition to his family, his cousin’s husband Gary pulled him into a strong manly hug. His uncle Arthur, well his uncle Rookie, nobody called him Arthur, Arthur was a distant memory, gave him a strong awkward handshake.
“You’re just in time for chocolate chocolate cake!” Yelled his cousin Storker’s girlfriend Deb. What in the hell chocolate chocolate cake was never really got to sink in to Tyler’s mind because before he got a chance, his great aunt Lil was standing on the coffee table, singing loudly in French; her small eighty year old frame barely supporting itself.
Jake had already had enough of his families eccentricities for one night, when they decided to bust out the story of Rookie, the reason Jake felt so distant from him. As family member after family member recounted their experience with his “death” when he disappeared some seventeen year earlier to his reappearance after six years, Tyler sat and lost himself in day dreams.
He had a man back at school waiting for him. He hated the two and half hour drive back home, and hated being home even more. He wished he was back at school, out in the cold, with his friends, and his dorm room, and his boy, and his booze. He wanted nothing more to break out a half a bottle of Southern Comfort that had stored in the back seat of the car, but no escape was in sight, and his aunt Judy and his parents watching him like a hawk it seem like mission impossible.
Finally he had reached the point where he could take no more, and stood up. “You’re all tapped out!” he shouted at the room of disgusting people all between thirty and ninety. He never really tried to be disrespectful, but he couldn’t take any more of their laughing about seeking out psychics, and private investigators to find their “dead” brother.
“I’m so glad that in less the three days my dorm will open up and I won’t have to see any of you again till Christmas!”
“You ungrateful little - -“Uncle d**ky started but caught himself, holding back his anger.
“Screw yourself!” Jake yelled over his shoulder as he left to get in the car. He pulled out of the drive way, sending stone dust flying, as his parents ran out of the house after him, attempting to harangue their already displeased son. He barely evaded them and, yelled out the window, “I’m sorry”, as he drove out of sight.
Jake never made it home that night, the police report said that he had been drinking, and had hit a patch of ice, throwing his car through the guard rail on the bridge. Everyone in his family knew the truth, and his parent knew that bottle of Southern Comfort was half empty before he even woke up on the last thanksgiving anyone in his family ever celebrated.

I have not seen you for so long

yes I know. Fifty years.

Our family has had a difficult time lately

Such a shame about Cousin Alexis

And the children

yes. The children. Haemophilia...

yes. I heard that she took up with a monk.

While her husband at the Front...

Such a nasty business there, the First World War... We ended up on different sides

Poor Willie.

I know. Losing his job like that. You treat it as your birthright and they rebel.

So many of them lost it at the end of the WW1. You know what I heard?

What?

I heard that Cousin Willie had let Lenin's train through.

Overcompensating for the withered arm thing if you ask me

No wonder half the family changed their names.

So Lenin he was the guy who...

He led the revolution. Yes.

But Cousin Alexis had it coming. Taking up with that monk like that. Whatever happened to him?
Well he was invited by a prince to an evening of debauchery

go on..

He was poisoned

oh dear

And he was beaten pretty badly

oh my

and stabbed

good god...

and castrated

whew... did he survive?

Yes... they put him into a sack and threw him into the icy River Neva. They pulled him out in the
morning. He drowned.

So what happened to Alexis?

The whole family was shot by communists.

But didn't one of the children escape, Anastasia wasn't it?

Thats not her.

What do you mean?

She is an impostor.

I thought you said she was polished and pleasant

No, you misunderstand my accent. I said she was a polish peasant.

So what happened to Cousin Willie's son?

Took up with the wrong crowd. The ones who started that whole second world war thing.

*sigh* like father like son. And Cousin Carol?

He was deposed in favor of his six year old son Michael.Then Michael was deposed by fascists and then reinstalled by popular acclaim and then deposed by communists. What do the communists have against our family?

I really don't know.

Still, it is a lovely wedding.

Yes quite lovely. In a family such as ours, we need some normality.

So who is Cousin Elizabeth marrying?

Cousin Philip.

Ah, the greek prince. So good to have somebody exotic in the family. Let's hope that this family curse can be lifted. Let's hope that the next generation can be free from all this drama.