5. Toy Construction Bricks: Pile the Spam up but beware of the choking hazard.

4. Jewelry: Carve the desired shape from fresh Spam and when dried out, proudly wear the simile leather.

3. Creature Lure: Open a can and attract bugs, birds, homeless, dogs, squirrels, etc.

2. Thickener: Add texture to smoothies, vomit, hair, or paint.

1. Padding: Enhance your breast or crotch area. Limited choice of colour. Non toxic for most. Carving optional.

1) Slice thinly, cut out shapes with a cookie cutter, hang them on the Christmas tree.

2) Try out the new Spam milkshake!

3) Leave in the tin. Strap to your head for protection from tiny meteorites.

4) Carry around a supply, use them as a tip for services. Hairdresser? Have a Spam! Great waitress? Two Spams for you!

5) For that extra special holiday treat, Spam and raisin Jell-O is a tasty dessert!

5. Indians of the Hopi tribe once used Spam to polish their pet turtles' shells.

4. Spam is a common substitute in the Chicago slums for petroleum jelly.

3. After the Challenger incident, the President has required NASA to use Spam as a backup seal behind their O-rings.

2: Spam-eating contests are a rite of passage in Canadian colleges, performed by emptying the cans into a blender, mixing them with pineapple juice, and quickly downing the puce-colored liquid.

1: When the Blizzard of '77 hit the Northeast, nearly 93% of the region's pipes were frozen solid, and people were forced to use Spam as an alternative to water when showering.

5. Silly Putty substitute
4. Sculpturing medium (the famous SPAM castles)
3. Jeopardy answer under the category of 'mystery meats'
2. SPAM can key is essential item to find in Zork V adventure
1. A tasty dinner treat (just kidding)

Your crazy aunt just passed away, and all she left you was a storage shed full of Spam. As the ideas begin to race through your head you realize the five things you shouldn’t do:

Use the Spam as a baseball.
Use it as an eyeglass cleaner.
Prop a door open with it.
Use it to fix that hole in the wall.
Most importantly do not build a life sized Spam sculpture of Jerry Seinfeld.

5. As a substitute window caulk.(Squeeze into crevices and then smooth.)

4. As a door stop(with or without can)

3. Food fight material(It qualifies...barely.)

2. As carving material(for use as a mold)

1. As substitute brain matter in a vehicle test dummy head

1.Serve your kids with SPAM cookies dip in juicy SPAM sauce garnished with SPAM trimmings.

2.Instead of throwing eggs at cars or houses during Halloween why don’t you try a small ball shaped SPAM.

3.SPAM ice cream anyone or frozen yogurt SPAM?

4.SPAM facial mask to clear away those pesky pimples and facial blemishes.

5.SPAM perfume for females or SPAM cologne for males

5: The Monty Python 'Spam' skit and song.

4: Spam slices masquerading as Ham steaks (Hostel food, you gotta love it!)

3: Spam Jams (street parties held in Austin and also in Waikiki to celebrate Spam)

2: Spam picnics on crowded long distance bus rides (Based on an actual experience, in which half of the population on the bus had decided to take spam sandwiches to eat on the trip. The stench is unbelievable!)

1: Eating it!

Spam should not be used:

1) to throw during protest rallies
2) as a soft shoe insert
3) as a stocking stuffer
4) as an exfoliant
5) as a a type of play doh material for children

5.Thermal insulation.
4.Republican Candidate for Vice President of the United States of America.
3.Great Literature.
2.A digital recording medium.
1.A nutritious alternative to spam.