Write a tragic, rhyming poem in the style of Dr. Seuss using only words found on the Dolch sight-word list and/or phonetically regular, one syllable short-vowel words. (i.e. It can be read by the average second grade student).

Write a story about Hell, either the United States one, or the Worth word filter one. Only the reader should not be able to tell which one you are writing about, until at least the last paragraph...

In Engrish*, write of an alien that has landed in a redneck town and thinks the local pub is earth’s headquarters and the barman is the leader. Your entry must be in the form of a log book.

*Engrish: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engrish

You're a rap superstar busting rhymes about the thug life and the bling life. Now it's time to get real for the shoties.

Write a hip-hop retelling (or remixing) of a classic Mother Goose rhyme.

Write a short story, about absolutely anything, consisting of 75-100 words, but the first letter of every word used has to be the same as last letter of the word before it.

Hello, Help! No one has found you and you appear to be stuck. Fortunately, you can access your cell phone and your only hope is to explain to someone your location and how you got into this hiding spot.

Overdramatic Robot-Monkey Shotgun Wedding/Family Reunion

An epic poem about the tragedies that befall errant dust motes in the mens restroom of the floating McDonald's on the Missippi. Including their begining, their life, their trials, and their deaths.

Make up a word or slaughter a word in EVERY SENTENCE with no regard to the English language while still allowing the reader to understand what you are trying to relay to them while simultaneously entertaining them. Plot is optional.

I've never liked "B." It looks and sounds ugly, so let's get rid of it...poetically!

For this contest, pen your best 14-line sonnet on any topic. However, you cannot use the letter "B" or you will be disqualified.