...Attention Foodmart customers...

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... the FDA ...

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...emergency recall ...

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... have purchased or have in your basket any product containing ...

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...found on aisle...

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...return and do not eat...

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...can lead to nausea, diarrhea...

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...lupus and restless leg syndrome...

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... and have a nice day. Remember, when you shop at Foodmart, you are always guaranteed the lowest prices anywhere and only the highest quality produce.

Just remember not to eat the...

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... or you will bleed to death through your ears.

mmmmf mmfffm fmmfmfmmf mfmfmfmfmf mfmfmfmmmff mfmfmfm evacuate mfmfmfm mfmfmfm mf fmffmf not a drill. Repeat. mmffmfm mffmmfmm mfmm mfmfmfm mfmfmmfm donuts mfmfmmfmfmmfm mfmmffmm only via stairwell mfmfmfmmf mfmfmfmff not a drmfmf. Thank you. White Star Lines mf ffmfm mfmfm mff aboard the Titanic.

"The five-o-clock trade to the contention center is now boring. Peas proceed in a northernly fashion to platform ape to pore the fido-clock drain to the convention sinner.

Welcome ... Bronx Zoo. Please be advised ... hyenas ... crocodiles ... wildebeasts ... ... hope you will join us ... ... for our first ever musical number ... with Girl Scout Troop 6 ... at 3pm ... big show ... with donations benefitting ... ... Chuck and Gary's Tire Emporium and ... ... Assisted Living Center.

Please for to being quick run orderly non-mess style. No reason for to urgent situation not. Calm leaving make for happy happy, safe and whole. For to rage hurtful, not necessary endangered no no unhappy. Go away from all things left backward, not needed. Returning later claim safe and whole when nothing touching. Sneer at grabby, for to block pattern of fashion not all leave. Ungrabby no rage be safe, responsible, be like please.

May.......attention....we ......there......imminent......aliens.....pray....war....worlds

"Hmm, I wonder if the mall will close early."

Bing Bong ... May I have your attention please. This is ... krchchch ... mery Scott speaking ... krchchch ... transport is ... krchch ... eady to beam ... krchch ... in a few minutes. Please have your ... krchch ... Bing Bong.

BEAM???

A man is sitting on a bench in a mall. He is heartily busy eating a pie. He looks up as the mall PA system sounds:

“Attention all security. Could mowhaha please ensure blah blah of mass blah blah wawawa confiscated. All people blah blah cavity blah blah blah. The local mwa mwa mwa alerted.”

The man guiltily looks around and slowly places the half-eaten pie in the trash next to him.

murfle squankle tion please. Would the driver of wofmnal donawed yellow dwandle bdangle your car rongle flinzzzzz blarg fdwd floodgak zongle relocated faaaaaaaaaaaa bleeeeeeeeem result in it being reposessed.

mmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmmmm mmmmmmm please stop leaning on the PA speakers.