You're at the airport and the PA system is making an announcement that is totally garbled:

"attention blah blah blah the fire apparatus has left the tarmac blah blah form an orderly queue blah blah..."

Fire apparatus?

What did they say? You look around, and no one else is panicking, so you go back to reading your newspaper.

The rules of this contest are thus: Write a garbled PA announcement in a public place--a train station, an airport, a mall--you decide. Leave the garbled words in; it's funnier that way.

Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable. All entries must be in accordance with our text rules and guidelines. As always, quality is a must.

You will have 7 days for this contest, so make your submissions count.

Word Limit: 100. Entries longer than 100 words will be disqualified.