My acting skills are not as I desire;
Still, I crave a life of onstage fire.
I like to write in this iambic way -
Perhaps I’ll try to write myself a play

George Carlin: Let’s see, my first seven words should be legendary…

Now observe as I magically detach myself from the umbilical cord..

Outracing all of those other little white things nine months ago was pretty tough, but SOMEhow, I made it. Now, if I could only somehow parlay that talent into a successful career...

" and that is how you hold your breath for nine months."

When I grow up I am going to become President...
Why is everybody laughing?

OK, how about we push the "intelligence" attribute to maximum... And put the rest of the points into Charisma. Strength? Dexterity? Who needs them?

I can’t stand all this rain. Mom, Dad, I’m gonna go hang out in the garage.

Hey! Some man's been here before!

Hey cutie, how about we ditch these pacifiers and meet over at my rubber pool?