#5 Eavesdrop at the kiddie playground to find out who's having a birthday party, and take your kids. If their gift is good enough, no one will care.

#4 Drop your child off near the police station with instructions to go inside and say he can't remember who he is. Show up frantic-looking a few hours later with his �memory medicine".

#3 Post in the Worth1000 forums that you haven�t had a date alone with your spouse in the 8 months since your last child was born. Someone will volunteer.

#2 Fein insanity so Child Protective Services will take your children. Contact them later explaining that your crazy twin escaped from the insane asylum, but is safely locked up again.

#1 Give your little darling a pair of handcuffs and mention how fun it would be for Aunt Jane to be handcuffed to him. Oops! Where's the key?

5. Drop your kid off at the information kiosk at a shopping centre and tell him to say his mom is Angelina Jolie.

4. Find a large family busy with shopping; get your kid to tag along. He’ll have hours of fun before they realise there is one too many.

3. Offer to look after some more kids (get money from the parents) leave all the kids at a local family restaurant. There is nobody better than an eager waitress to keep children busy.

2.Make a dentist appointment for your child – as late in the day as possible. Drop him off when the dentist opens in the morning.

1.Google the symptoms of swine-flu, describe them to the staff at the emergency room and watch your kid being whisked away. They will look after him well while he is in isolation. (Note: Look as healthy as you possibly can)

5) Tell your coworker that her husband will never know about her affair with Jack in Accounting if she babysits for you on Saturday.

4) Drop your kids off at the mall with a 500-item scavenger hunt list. Tell them the loser gets grounded for a month.

3) Get your stuttering brother-in-law to teach your children to sing �100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall�. Excuse yourself on bottle 97.

2) Give your child a �Stop the Torture� sign and drop her off at a PETA rally.

...and.... (drumroll)

1) Get a job as an enforcer with a loan shark. Instead of breaking a guy�s leg, make him babysit your kids. The pain�s just as great, but it�s over faster.

5. Offer to make a beer run for the underage miscreants in the neighborhood.

4. Drop the child off at the mall. Contact mall authorities after the movie, claiming you “just turned your back for a second!”

3. Set out a candy trail leading to your front door, and nab the first kid who shows up.

2. Invite a friend over for dinner. Excuse yourself to go to the restroom, and slip out the back door.

1. Isn’t that what the TV is for?

5. Leave the child in your cubicle at work. Everone wil think your working overtime and they are already used to the crying noises.

4. Take the baby to the local Buddhist temple and proclaim that it is a reincarnated Lama.

3. When the pizza delivery guy shows up, ask him to keep an eye on the baby while you get your wallet from the car… and leave!

2. Put the baby in a doggy costume and drop it off at the humane society.

1. Drop the baby off at the local DMV, by the time they call its number the child will be old enough to drive.

Legal disclaimer:
No children or animals were harmed in the creation of this "top 5" list. Any similarities to persons; real or imagined, is purely coincidental and/or your own hallucinogenic delusion.

5. Crack a window and make sure not to leave the keys in the ignition.

4. I think that arcade in the mall is still open, hey those attendants don't get paid for nothing!

3. A little rum in Johnny's apple juice. That should be good for 2 hours at least...

2. Drop him off at the local nursing home to visit "Grandma". Hey I'm sure it's someone's grandma!

1. Take little Johnny to the local police station and tell them he seems to be lost. You can just come back and claim him on the way home.

5.Bribe a friend.

4.Train dog to babysit.

3.Make a clone.

2.Build a time machine and go forward in time until they have robot babysitters

And if all else fails....

1. Get a big screen tv, a pool and hot tub, a huge fridge stocked with junk food and ice cream and pop, every great movie ever made, every channel, every video game system and video game and a comfy couch.
By this point, they should be lining up at your door to babysit.

1. Tell the babysitter that you know the President and can recommend her.
2. Threaten the guy who's been leeching your images. Say you'll report him unless he oversees your kids for a few hours.
3. Offer to sponsor someone on Worth in exchange for watching your offspring.
4. Build a robot MacGyver-style our of a toothpick, a paper clip, and a rubber band and have it take care of your children.
5. If all else fails, order a pizza and when the deliveryman comes, use your Jedi mind tricks to make him stay and supervise your spawn.

5: Replace target's entire food supply with strawberry vindaloo. Refuse to give back until after babysitting.
4: Offer to buy target ten buckets of favourite ice cream. (If this fails, see above)
3: Give toddler target's ten most precious possessions. Instruct him/her to hide said possessions around your house.
2: Compliment target on babysitting skills. Have a friend disagree. Point out that target could prove you right by babysitting for you.
1: Anti-zombie house. Buy protective suits. Invite target over for a friendly drink. Using your scientific prowess, initiate temporary Zombie Apocalypse, rendering the outside world unsafe for everyone not wearing anti-zombie armour. Leave kid in target's capable hands. (Bonus: free movie!)

1 . Call 911 ,change your voice as a baby and ask for help ,saying you are alone at home .When they come ,you sneak out.
2. Go to supermarket and put baby in cart and put a note with your home address . and leave the cart near a security guard or cash counter . then leave .
3.Call an ambulance saying you had an accident .leave a note on the door that i will be back in 3 hours .when the ambulance comes ,you leave .
4.Call the policeman asking their help .You say that someones is trying to threaten you .as police comes ask him for a drink .and introduce the baby .and sneak out saying that you need to go to bathroom .
5.Ask a homeless man to take care of baby in return for food .and you leave.