The ratio between the current earning potential of a former child star and their earning potential at the height of his or her popularity, adjusted for inflation.

Only a handful of former child stars have a positive Coleman Ratio, chief among these being Neil Patrick Harris, Jodie Foster, and Ron Howard.

Foot-pound: Unit equal to one second of time spent playing "Dance Dance Revolution"

Like a regular year but one third the calories and tastes like dishwater.

The Simon-Cowell (abbreviation: Scowl) =
Insults per minute.

Eyelid twitch per Deadline = a unit of pressure or stress

erg (unit of work) = Frustration x difficulty

Applestall n. unit of measurement, specifying the height of a cartoon character, (Optimus Prime, at approximately 35 times the height of a Smurf, is 105 Applestall) cf. SMURFTHIRD (standard apple sizing unit).

Reilly n. unit of measurement. Used in fiction writing; the rate per page at which an author breathlessly employs contrived, precisely concurrent dramatic events. (The latest title in Ludlum’s posthumous franchise, The Bourne Retirement, approaches a five Reilly climax.) [Matthew Reilly (1974- ), author]

With the advent of the computer age, there have had to be developed new units of measurement. Bytes and their ilk, pixels… the list is growing all the time.

And so it goes. The newest measurement is the DAFT PILCHARD.

This is the base unit of stupidity in a user of a computer system. There are 9 daft pilchards to a PEANUT, 5 peanuts to a DOLT and 23 dolts to a MORON. This means there are 1035 pilchards to a moron.

So if you call some-one a daft pilchard, they are 0.007% of a moron. Don’t you feel better?

Firkin- noun
Deffinition: An English unit of measuring the amount of material needed to create clothing for animals.

Example: We need three firkin of silk for my cousin's Dalmation's underwear.

Firking-Verb
Deffinition: The act of using a gerkin to measure material for an animals clothing.