Here I lie, all cold and hard
Buried in my own backyard,
Cheap ol family if they only knew
All my money is back here too.

Here lies Walter Baggot
Supplier of tools to the masonry trade
He will be sorely m

Captain Jack was a scurvy dog,
Who sure did drink a lot of grog.
With all the danger pirates face,
He should have died with noble grace.
But instead of meeting his demise,
While fighting other ruthless guys,
Or being lost to the deep stormy seas,
He passed on land from liver disease.

Here lies the body of Charlie McBean
Who tried to get chips from a vending machine

He put in his coins and then punched in two-eight
But the coil got stuck and he soon was irate

So he shook it and shook it until he turned red
Then it fell with a crash--he was instantly dead

But he was a good man and nice to his wife
So he'll get to eat chips when he's in the next life.

Here lies the body of Ronald Jones.
We think it's the right spot.
We buried him at night time,
And by morning we forgot.

Now I must leave,
For me Heaven calls,
So please move aside,
Your crushing my balls.

If death is real, and life is gone,
I'm buried in this plot;
So dance a jig upon the lawn,
While I lie here and rot.

"I didn't think it would be a sting ray either."

"To my beloved children, John, Martha, Carol, Mel, Tom, Andrew and Carl, my grandchildren Emma, Jack, John Jr, Andy, Steven, Tim, Martha, Jen, Tony, Jimbo, Lars, Jason, Max, Anne and Stella, my great grandchildren Tony Jr, Jackson, Ben, Katy, Olga, Hans, William, Bryan, Alonso, Herb, Rita, Carol, Maria, Linda, Ralph, Jonas, Steve, Leo, Ron, Dean, Susan and Ellen... I was born sterile."

Thank you Mario!

But our princess is in
another coffin!