Why don't kids today read the classic novels of the past? The contents are engrossing enough, but their titles are boring. The internet age is all about the hook, and old books have titles that are the result of the sensibilities of their time. Often they're merely a name or a place: Wuthering Heights. Bambi. Moby Dick.

Think of how well those old books would sell with modern titles:

Vengeance on the Moor: The Lurid Truth That Heathcliff Can't Deny

Pequod Chronicles III: The Wrath of Ahab

See? Most of the classic books would be titled differently if they were being marketed for the first time today.

There are lots more examples here.

We are sure that you, the writers here at Worth1000 can come up with some great examples as well.

The rules of the game are thus: Retitle a classic literary work. Use the original title as your title, and your new title as the body of your entry.

Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable. All entries must be in accordance with our text rules and guidelines. As always, quality is a must. You will have 7 days for this contest, so make your submission count.

Word Limit: 30. Entries longer than 30 words will be disqualified.

Thanks to 2manyusernames for this great contest idea!

*Alternative subtitle: Thumper's Revenge.