Announcing the biggest waste of your money since the Snuggie. That’s right! This is the first time in history you’ve ever used this comb. Sure it looks like every other hair comb you’ve seen; it’s black, plastic and unremarkable in many, many ways. It is, however overpriced and performs only as well as it looks. Don’t miss this recurring opportunity to purchase the “Comb” now. Found only where hair products, groceries and gasoline are sold!

Come on out to the ball game
Bring your family and come on out today for an expensive day at the ballpark. First, you’ll have to find a place to park, which will cost you more than usual, then spend massive amounts of money just to get in the gate. If you don’t spend a small fortune for good seats, you get to enjoy the game if you have binoculars or can get a seat with a view of the big screen. While you’re at it, you can spend several times more than you should for refreshments. On the way home fight the traffic to get away from the stadium.

“Results not typical” this typically means it works for less than 1 percent of the customers and the information we provide is so sketchy and incomprehensible that even we wonder how they did it. “Operators standing by” is until the complaints start, then we'll change our name and start selling something different.“While supplies last” lets us charge more because no one wants to miss out on a great deal, but the truth is even if we have millions of units to sell that is still “Limited”. “S&H” is a great money maker for us, hardly anyone ever asks how much it is in advance, heck we make more on shipping and handling that we do on the product and you can't fight it. “As seen on TV” what we don't tell you was the shows were 60 Minutes and Inside Edition. Also remember the people in the advertisement were all paid, and just because someone wears a white lab coat is does not mean they are a doctor.

Hey there folks, Paul Liar here, wondering if you are as tired of having oily and fatty foods as I am! Well we have a solution! “THE RAG!” Made from multiple paper towels stuck together, the rag will turn your fatty, greasy foods into fatty greasy foods with a towel thrown over them! Your probably wondering, “How does it work?” Well I will tell you! You take “THE RAG” and place on top of any greasy food that you have and in seconds, the patented grease absorbing technology will have soaked up a layer of fatty juices. This of course will make you believe you are cutting calories will hopefully put your mind at ease when you take a bite of that giant pizza… fatty. “THE RAG” is a complete rip off and is not sold in stores, but you can take advantage of a great deal and get it for $19.95 plus the $400 shipping and handling.

Now with insignificant added amounts of Vitamins A, B, C, D, E and Calcium!

Tired of red lights? Tired of stopping for pedestrians that cross out in front of you? Our new Toyota model doesn't even include breaks seeing as they never worked in the first place, and we have added a plow to the front of it to prevent blood, and human bodies on your windshield! Rush to your nearest Toyota today, because their going, and not stopping! Side effects may include, being bloodied up, broken bones, and in many instances death. Please consult no one before driving a Toyota.

Lay's Potato Chips - laying fat across America for generation. Ultimate goal - potato shaped human race.

Starbucks - overpriced accessories for baby scrollers and iMac.