Earplugs

Warning: Will cause deafness (loss of hearing) for the duration of use.

Warning!: The two all-beef patties may cause gout, raise your cholesterol and may be fattening. The special sauce may or may not contain peanuts, other nuts, citrus fruit, or an addictive substance. The lettuce may have been sprayed with a pesticide. The cheese may or may not contain milk products or coconut oil. The pickles may cause gas in some people. The onions have been known to cause bad breath in many people. The sesame seed bun has no known nutritional value but looks good and absorbs excess fat from the meat patties well. Please enjoy your burger.

Warning: If experiencing asphyxiation, please loosen.

Xerox Copier: Warning: photocopying butt cheeks may lead to loss of employment.

Scuba Gear: WARNING Filling oxygen tank with beer and attempting a deep-sea dive may be fun, but it will ultimately lead to loss of life.

WARNING

Ladytowels Super Absorbent Winged Pantieliners

Despite advertising to the contrary pouring blue coloured water on our product is not adviseable before use.

Caution: Do not lick or taste. Water may not be safe for drinking. Do not insert head into bowl, as drowning may result. In case of accidental toilet water ingestion, induce vomiting and locate the nearest disinfectant.

Warning: Not recommended for use as a flotation device.

Bra: To avoid embarrassment after working a twelve-hour shift and arriving home, check to make sure husband does not have clients over before slinging off and yelling “hallelujah.”

Warning: Despite the way you feel subsequent to taking this medication, your life still sucks.