A fluid-filled tube with a bubble to used to prove you can't hang things straight.

Plane: a tool for creating cute wood curlicues while creating valleys and craters in the project you are working on.

Nail gun: A power tool designed to create memorable head x-rays to amuse and amaze medical students.

A hammer:

A tool for bending and breaking nails.

The claw end of a hammer is for breaking the heads off nails while leaving the nail itself in the wood, with just enough of the nail left to scratch yourself and ruin the project, but not enough to get out with pliers.

Replacement for a woman's shoe heel.

Dental Floss: (n) a long, thin string used by dentists on their patients during a biannual visit to indicate and reiterate lack of dental hygiene, and is somehow correlated with the belief that not bleeding is healthy. "Do you see how your dental floss has turned red? You may have gum disease."

Device used to quickly and easily poke holes in fingers

router bit: A rotating blade attached to a powerful, high-speed motor.

router byte: An event wherein a router bit reduces to eight the number of digits attached to its operator.

Device used to make completely-straight, but uneven lines in a logbook or other object requiring evenly-spaced columns and lines.

Screwdriver:

A tool for getting blood all over your project as you gouge your hands.

A tool for stripping screws, nuts and bolts.

Claw Hammer: An instrument utilized for its ability to work on minor demolition jobs, such as the flattening of clumsy thumbs and awkward forefingers into flat surfaces.