Dude, What were you thinking?

A fur lined leather jacket and a bag of venison jerky? You know my wife is hardcore vegan and local PETA chapter president! I get enough grief for just associating with you as a supporter of reindeer enslavement. I'll be sleeping on the couch for at least a month after this one.

We're going to have to have a long talk about your sense of humour. Getting the Easter Bunny to leave REAL eggs last year was bad enough. I hate to think what you're planning next.

Thanks a lot,
Dave.

Dear Santa,

Mama always told me that you are real and that if I am a good boy, you will make my wish come true. I sat on your lap and wished for a time machine.

When Christmas day finally came, I opened my present and found… a watch?

Very funny, Santa! You always do this every year! You find the easy way out! Remember when I wished for a laptop? You got me a top with the word “lap” written on it!

You say ho ho ho? Try ha ha ha! Suits you more!

Thanks for nothing, Santa!

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way,
I’ve not told a single soul what you did that day.
Quickly, I unwrapped your gift; I couldn’t wait to see…
“But…what is this that Santa's brought? THIS was meant for ME?”
A Worth 1000 trophy, inscribed there with my name,
Proclaiming that with MOST DQs I’d earned my claim to fame?
(And an avatar designed to match, to advertise my shame!)
“Bah humbug," I cried aloud, and stumbled back to bed,
“Next year, I'll send my Christmas list to dear old Scrooge instead.”

Clause,
Look, I know that the time machine I wanted was just a bit unreasonable, but you have no excuse for giving me coal. I have been good all year. Well, except for the visit to Dr. Mill’s, and maybe Katie’s birthday party, but I don’t want to dwell on those times. But, seriously, what were you thinking? I don't deserve coal. You're the lazy one here. YOU are the one who deserves coal. And are you stuck in the 20th century? Seriously, this is 2010. Who the heck uses coal any more? You're just unreasonable.
Sincerely,
Jilly

Dear Santa,

Thanks for the 270 pound bag of rusty screws and bent nails.

It's just what I always wanted. Not!

I'm gonna find you, you drunken old fart, then I'll tie this bag to your back and throw you off my boat into the frozen lake.

You think you're gonna get away easy? Watch it fat boy, I'm onto you and that old beastly whore you call a wife, well I'll serve her to the wolves and bears.

It's the last time you ever gift this to a customer and expect to get milk and cookies in return.

Damian

Dear Santa,

As any kid I have always worshiped you, you have always read my lists and brought me what I wanted! But this year, I ran downstairs to see alot of presents under the tree, NONE oof which I actually ASKED for! Especially the "Come and swim Barbie Beach House." I'M 10!! Can't you get anything right? Oh, and because of this mistake you can go thirsty because I am not leaving a glass of milk for you! So next year, I expect to see my full list under the tree 5am sharp!

From an annoyed Rachel.

Hey Santa,you have been pulling the same silly joke for years now and I am sick of it,I wait every year so exited because my mother tells me that you are real and if I made a wish for christmas it will come true but it turned out that my mother was wrong about you because on my first christmas I wished for a dog but when I looked at my present I found A peace of wood carved on it DOG and the same happened every year.
Thanks for nothing old man.

Dear Santa, you are the symbol of Christmas, but you with all his fame, I forgot, snubbed me, just to think you like me, gave me a gift, but it was a lousy top that does nothing, not blink, or wheel alone, so I want for you, you old obese, wearing neither the''Little Red Riding Hood,''the worst Christmas in the world and I want you to come out of that sled and bomb, not a bomb!