Greetings fellow animal lover. Lemmings are stampeding off cliffs at an alarmingly accelerated rate. Join the crusade to protect these easily manipulated group-minded creatures. For only two easy payments of $19.95, you can save thousands of lemmings from gullible ruin. Tell all your friends to join too!

Tired of winter weather advisories?
Come to a place guaranteed never to freeze over!

Unsure of which direction your life should take?
Walk down the road paved with good intentions!

Has life been getting you down?
Join us and you’ll always be looking up!

Hey! You! Yeah, you! Do you live the life of fast cars, beautiful women, and piles of cash? Why not join an elite group of members at the givlurkeraalyurstuf club!

Meet by the dark alley on Copless Lane! Join today!

You’re young and ambitious, upbeat and responsible.
So you think you got what it takes, you think you can make the grade?
You’re wrong, chump! You’re no good for the BIG TIME!
No use in trying to contact us through the following numbers:

Twist the top off.
Dunk the cookie.
Lick the cream.
Crunch the cracker.

We march in the name of the black and white snack-time crusader.

Feel lonely? Feel like you aren’t using your full potential? Feel like you’re part of something greater or for a higher purpose? We are here to help better serve that purpose. Join us and help reshape Society, help us rejuvenate Culture, Join us and build a better world.

Are you a decent and kind person? Do you give more than you take? Have a vision?
"Goaltenders" is an organization that supports,encourages and networks with people just like you.

What's the catch? Be able to prove that you have no legitimate grievances against you.

Be a part of something larger than yourself.

Join us! Here at the cult of Cthulhu we serve waffles every morning and give you free kittens to use as you like. (If that pertains sacrifice to the all wise and powerful). We will make sure you have a great experience here with us in the cult of Cuthulhu!

END OF THE WORLD PARTY!
Dec,11,2012, 8:00 PM, 6433 East Bridgemore, BYOB
Make your last night on earth memorable and join us as we count down to doomsday!

We march in the name of the almighty lord! Join us and never falter! Does the world seem foggy fo you? Then we will stand with our hands clasped and our heads bowed "Oh mighty spirit touch us with your noodly appendage!"