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Poetry Fail

I stained my cloak with diet coke

Contest ended 1 year ago 4/26/2011 12:00:00 AM EDT

Contest Info

Cost: 2 credits
Jackpot: 50 credits

Contest Options

12 Contest Entries

# 1

The Angel and the Cookie Jar

By akhenatenator (Score: 7.729)

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And so your broken wing and earthly scars
Fill the woods with songs on air guitars,
While Mother Nature fills the cookie jars
With love and peace (and quite a few Mars Bars).
And lo, the angels light up their cigars -
And drag race at the fair on bumper cars.

Word count: 50

Should have entered this in Writer's Choice in the tournament ;)

# 2

Kangaroo

By zaltiga (Score: 7.686)

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The kangaroo is a marsupial from Australia
The male of the species has small genitalia
Their anatomy is such, that if it all were a regular size
Everytime they jumped it would be squashed by their thighs
There are some that think their equipment is pathetic
But for the lady kangaroos it is all copacetic

Word count: 55

# 3

The Life of Van Gogh

By suomigirl (Score: 7.237)

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In his chateaux in old Bordeaux
Vincent Van Gogh did Taekwando.
He read Tarot on a chat show,
He ate gateau in his Pergeot,
And drank Cointreau with a golf pro
On the plateau of a U-FO.

Word count: 37

Last postcard from anAfrican Adventure

By thredder (Score: 6.823)

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On safari on our travels, moving by canoe.
We went so far we lost our paddles, distracted by gnu.
Stuck there in the savannah heat, hiding from a lion,
taking turns to fan a sheet, to stop ourselves from fryin'.
There's so much sun and danger here, to stay alive is hard,
I hope there's a kind stranger near, to post you off this card.

(alternative last line:- so don't get all deranged my dear, when they find us gnawed and charred.)

Word count: 82

Hope you'll forgive the alternative last line... one fit better, but one had the worse rhyme - couldn't decide which to go with.

Medical Advice

By Veret (Score: 6.727)

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Lately my schedule's becoming nocturnal
I try to lie still but I just toss and turn all
the time. So my doctor (who ran diagnostics)
said "sir, you're beginning to need a walking stick.
Your bones have all aged and your joints have all stuck--
Oh, and lay off the writing; your poetry sucks."

Word count: 54

Brown Hound

By dmeitz (Score: 6.478)

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Seven years older and wiser to each of mine.
Through barks, pants, growls he aggressively reminds.
Wears his patches of skin, splotches of fur,
as ornaments, badges of batterment, dogged honor.
Cracks in concrete, rain-flushed oil, he bathes.
For the alley is battle ground, life giver, and grave.

Word count: 48

Feel free to comment away. Poem for the Brown Hound.

What a Great Night

By zaltiga (Score: 6.047)

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I remember happy hour, 9 mojitos a “PB”
And trying to pick up an instructor of Tai Chi
On to another bar, karaoke I think
And leaving with a hirsute woman that bought me a drink
I hope it was a dream, the very pretty walrus with a stutter
I woke alone, shirt-less, and in the gutter

Word count: 57

PB = Personal Best

Ode to the drug store

By IndigoTribesMan (Score: 5.987)

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We shall never abolish
Glossy fingernail polish,
Co q 10 to catch men
or tampons to stamp on.
Won't you come and spend awhile
In the feminine product isle?

Word count: 29

I hope this is even worse coming from a male.