Rewrite the U.S. Constitution for the 21st Century. All words should be listed in the Official Scrabble Dictionary. Format: Haiku.

Capture a phone text conversation between two individuals, one of whom has mistakenly initiated a conversation with a stranger but does not become aware of it until the end, if at all. One sentence per text, maximum of 20 texts total.

Right a tail you sing sew many homophones (words that sound the same butt R knot spelt the same) that it makes yore ayes hurt when ewe reed it. Subject madder is up two the Arthur. Sum latitude four pronunciation aloud. (Approximations R oh Kay).

Write up a tragedy entirely in Elmer Fudd speech.

Write about the day you had today, but make it seem epic. It must be your actual day, but with a little hyperbole and colorful description make it seem like the most epic day of your life!

When good pancakes go mad: Reports from the field of battle between humanity and the formerly beloved but suddenly homicidal breakfast foods. We must all scramble to take up forks against the enemy! Don't stop until the streets run sticky with syrupy* death!

*Sugar-Free available. Allergies? Join Coffee Brigade!

Write a short story debating if there is such a thing as an honest politician.

A short story of twenty six words,each word must start with a different letter of the alphabet, not necessarily in order. The theme for the story is a Can of Worms

The rules to this contest are simple. You must eloquently and succinctly state the reason(s) why your entry is terrible and does not deserve to win.

Profanity is not acceptable
Oh my god! They killed Kenny! Those fatherless boys!

Your challenge is to create a profanity laced story without using profanity. The more non-profane the better! Crud, fudge, darn it all to h-e-double hockey sticks, keep it in the word limit.