lagislation n. 1. A law past due to be passed by the relevant congressional or parliamentary body. Nearly 300 years after Salem's infamous witch trials, Massachusetts finally passed lagislation abolishing colonial statutes against witchcraft.
2. A popular or commonsense bill pointlessly delayed by filibustering or similar purely-procedural means.

Precrastinate

1. To give up on a job before you even think about starting it.

Pretending to negotiate when you know your answer will be "no".

Boss to employee: "You know I'm always willing to nogotiate with you about a pay raise."

Offspring conceived after a one night stand you met at the club.

Boobworm: an avid reader (?) of material not usually found in a public library.

The final chaotic seconds of an online auction.

Confestant: Someone who appears on a tv-show and admits to embarassing things they have done, in the hopes that the pay-off will be greater than the embarassment.

The feeling of sluggishness caused by a Grateful Dead or Phish concert. Also known to occur before, during, and after college finals week.

When someone wants to date their cousin.

the hype-up men do to make themselves look better to the opposite sex than they actually are.