If you really wanted advice from this cookie... you should see a therapist.

You will be hit by a bus as you exit a restaurant.
Not quite ready to leave? Your server will be happy to provide a dessert menu.

You are often unappreciated... oops, I'm sorry... please hand this to your wife

You break my home in half and expect me to give you a fortune?

Food has been eaten, a price will be paid.

c:\documents and settings\user\desktop\fortune.txt

In the near future you will become aware of a strange loss of time between dinner and dessert. Do not be alarmed. This is due to a common temporal anomaly and not your kidney having been removed.
The stiches can be removed with the blade provided in the icecream.

You broke it, now you buy it. $10/cookie

Put the $500k into a trash bag.
Dump it in the mailbox on Sycamore.
You have until midnight if you want her to live.

Confucius say: Man who tip big, avoid Visine in drink.

Lucky Number: 22%