Have you ever been involved in a boring conversation with a friend, relative, or significant other? Liven it up with the new Mime-Em! App for iPhone. With the touch of a button, watch your braggart friend recount his tale of barroom bravery in mime! Laugh as your boss attempts to deliver his speech on corporate cutbacks. . . speechlessly! Guaranteed to spruce up any dull situation. Download Mime-Em! today! WARNING: do not use on actual mimes!

Avoid Me! App: With this essential app, you will be notified by tone and frequency when anyone in your "Avoid Me!" circle of callers comes within a preset tolerable distance from you. Imagine finally being able to maneuver around the girl at work with the unbearable coffee breath! Never again. Never. Again.

There’s No Place Like Home App

Tired of being crammed into an aluminium tube, and sitting next to someone who won’t stop talking about how well their sons are doing in their careers?

Sick of being stuck in seemingly endless lines of traffic?
Does it take you 3 hours to travel 2 miles when you’re done working for the day?

If you can answer yes to any of the above then the `There’s No Place Like Home` App
is for you.
Just hold your phone above your head, click your heels and touch the ruby slipper. You’ll be whisked away to your chosen destination. In seconds you’ll be home from work relaxing or away on holiday soaking up the 8 hours of sun you would have missed on the plane.

So stop thinking wow I need this app and press buy me!

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Has the Mind Control app failed you because you missed the "Authority figures are immune" warning?
Were you crestfallen by the last minute realization that the Knowledge Mimicry app is useless since the guy in the front desk knows nothing (but can make a hell of a cheat sheet)?
What about that uncontrollable Pheromone Manipulation app which made the man's best friend (not the man though) lust after you?
Enough is enough! Point the phone at your forehead and start the iKnow app. It will give you the ability to know anything and everything that can be known.

With I.Postpone you get The Tool to delay any activity to the last possible moment.
Set a reminder and, by an algorithm developed by MIT experts, I.Postpone will interact with every possible online resource to calculate the Maximum Acceptable Delay (MAD) and remind it to you just in time.

- You will be reminded of her birthday ten seconds before she gets mad!
- You will be reminded that you have to tidy your flat 1 hour before the party (or, for advanced procrastinators, you can set this kind of time limit so that you just have time to create the semblance of tidyness.)

Changes from version 1.1a:
- It is now possible to set your running speed both in miles and kilometers per hour.
- The new "Oh my!" function will slowly increase the MAD freeing up even more of your time.

Buy it Tomorrow!

The Universal Unlocking Utility, or triple U, will unlock anything you point it at! Forgot your car keys? No problem! Locked out of the house? Child's play! Girlfriend not feeling the romance? Va-va-voom! Only $5.99!

Hey there! Tired of your boring old life? You know, get up, eat, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed? Well, worry no more! With our new, patented iPhone app, To Worlds Unknown, you can be transported into a magical world in the click of a button! Fight dragons, go on quests, hang out with elves, and have the time of your life!* Available on our website for only $999.99**! Get yours today and get rid of that boring old life!

*To Worlds Unknown does not hold itself responsible for any injury, roasting by dragons or cannibals, capture or possible death. Hobbits not guaranteed. To Worlds Unknown is a permanent program, available only in the dimension it is advertised in. Do not purchase if you are happy with your life.
**Human currency only.

Thirsty? Lonely? Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. Click on the iCheers icon and you will be directed to the nearest tavern or pub where you will be warmly welcomed by name. We guarantee that you will be treated to at least three drinks and invited to join three tables. If you choose to sit at the bar, there will be at least four individuals available to engage in interesting conversation and the bar snacks will be fresh, tasty and plentiful. No matter how much you drink, you will not embarass yourself nor will you wake up with a hangover in the morning. Cheers! iCheers!

Ideal for residents of busy cities like New York, London and Tokyo. With iPedestrian you can clear a path on the sidewalk for you to walk swiftly without those pesky tourists standing in your way. Just point your phone's camera to your destination and the crowds will simply disperse. In-app purchases allow for wider functionalities such as traffic light control, umbrella control (benefit from other people's umbrellas without a need to bring your own), subway control (create empty seats) and the ever popular dog poo eraser.

HGPS (Hot girl positioning system)

HGPS (Hot girl positioning system) is modern technology. Do you need a date and fast? Not just any date you say? A hot, blonde, long-legged, wow-all-your-high school-friends-at-5-year-reunion date? Just enter (using the keypad. Shown in Diagram 1.0) your desired females qualities into the “wanted” box and press enter (Shown in diagram 1.1). Just like magic! The little smoking hot red dot will appear on your screen. It is guaranteed to be within 5 miles radius. She will cover everything you entered into the “wanted” box. So be specific!

Example:

Wanted: Blonde, 5'6, long legs, size C bra, funny, normal intelligence, agrees with everything I say, willing to be my date, etc.

Download App today!