Hilarious Headstones 4

Hilarious Headstones 4

Epitaphs you're dying to see!
Contest ended 7 months ago 10/21/2011 12:00:00 AM EDT

Contest Info

  • Cost: 2 credits
  • Jackpot: 50 credits

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Sponsored by MsgtBob
First Place
# 1
By DeeJay7 (Score: 6.943)
3

Here lies Schrodinger...
...maybe.

Word count: 4

there's a 50% chance he's still alive!

 
Second Place
# 2
By mbraynard (Score: 6.759)
3

Here Lies
Orson Heckleberry

A Leader of Men
In Number of Grand Larceny's Committed

A Face Known to Millions
Of America's Most Wanted Viewers

A World Traveler
According to Interpol

A Man of Letters
Filled With White Powder

A Vigorous Athlete
Climbing Many Times Into Chris Hanson's Seat Over There

A Devoted Husband
To Seven Women

A Lover of Animals
Until the Farmer Got a New Lock

He Will Be Missed
By CourtTV Producers

He Has Now Gone to His Great Reward
As Did the Bounty Hunter Who Shot Him

Word count: 90
 
Third Place
# 3
By MShades (Score: 6.589)
4

Here lies a noted mathematician
Who never thought he’d be a hero;
He found himself in this position
By being the first to divide by zero.

Word count: 26

Not about anyone specific, but the idea came into my head and then it kind of wrote itself. Hooray for math jokes!

 
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4
By tctaylor1031 (Score: 6.387)
0

So much for the prognosis

Word count: 5
 
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5
By tctaylor1031 (Score: 6.386)
1

Don’t be afraid of death. But that thing standing behind you I’m not so sure of…

Word count: 16
 
6
By las042 (Score: 6.212)
0

iCame
iSaw
iConquered

Word count: 3
 
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7
By Shante (Score: 6.195)
1

Here lays me, as old as can be.
My eyes still glow, my cheeks still blush, I’m still in my suit, what the heck was the rush.
With my hat all fluffed and my belly still stuffed, they left me as I was even with my boots all buffed.
I know I’m not ready to go, and now I have to leave behind the cookie dough.
Being jolly just aint the story no more, so say good-bye to old man you adore.

Word count: 82
 
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8
By ethermortal (Score: 6.001)
1

In life I had no master,
But to the world's music I was a slave,
So in death I have a radio in my tombstone,
Now the world can dance, dance on my grave.

Word count: 34
 
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9
By tctaylor1031 (Score: 5.822)
4

I planned to live forever. This is Plan B.

Word count: 9
 
10
By jago (Score: 5.814)
5

There I sat; there, departed.
Meant to "go",
But plan was thwarted.

Ate not as I had intended
"Mild," I'd asked.
Soon life was ended!

Didn't think of my last curry:
Final meal!
Final worry!

Found myself upon the can,
Upset bowels,
Broken man.

Relief I sought there, only human.
That recipe had
Too much cumin!

Word count: 56
 

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