"I don't love you. I'm sorry, but it just isn't working out. You're too... intense."
Timothy Paul Pasteur Thompson felt his legs wilt beneath him.
On the deck of the Carolina, crewmen were giving final hugs and kisses to loved ones before departing on their two week tour. Despite being overwhelmed with emotional distress, Timothy was acutely aware of the irony of being dumped while his fellow shipmates were embracing their wives, girlfriends and children.
"Listen, I have to go." Timothy watched her walk away with her face in her communicator.
*
"Welcome aboard the Carolina! I am Lieutenant Timothy Paul Pasteur Thompson and I serve as this vessel's chief hospitality officer. Please let me know if you have any needs or questions. You can reach me or one of the other hospitality officers at any time through the ship's communication network. Please enjoy your voyage!"
Timothy delivered the greeting with a consistent and cheerful enthusiasm to each party boarding the Carolina. Two teenage girls giggled at his formality when he delivered the greeting to their family and punctuated it with a deep bow.
A few minutes before the ship was scheduled to push away from the space port, a blond woman with the most perfect teeth Timothy had ever seen sauntered down the causeway. She held hands with a tall, thin man who glowed with a golden tan. His hair was fair and close cropped.
The man interrupted Timothy's perfunctory greeting, tossing two large bags at Timothy's feet. "Take these to suite 505."
Timothy considered telling the man that he was a senior officer on the ship, not a porter, but quickly checked the ship's manifest instead. "Can I have your name please?" asked Timothy.
"Francesco and Kate Bartali. Can we hurry? I want to get to the lido deck in time to do some skeet shooting."
Timothy confirmed that they were the last party to board and, since there was no one left to greet, decided to make himself useful by carrying the couple's bags. "Right this way, sir and ma'am. By the way, your name sounds familiar."
"He's a professional bike rider," Kate said with a teasing, playful sarcasm.
"Cyclist. Professional cyclist." Francesco's tone did not reflect his wife's amusement.
*
When they reached the suite, Timothy said to Francesco, "I think you have twenty minutes before skeet wraps up. Do you want directions on how to get there?"
"No, I'm fine," said Francesco as he made for the door.
"Have fun!" chirped Kate.
Francesco didn't respond.
Timothy turned to Kate to ask, "Is there else anything I can help you with, ma'am?"
"First, stop calling me ma'am. Ma'am is my father's name. Call me Kate. And what's your job, anyway? That's a pretty fancy uniform to be hauling luggage."
"First, I apologize for not properly introducing myself earlier. I am Lieutenant Timothy Pastu..."
"I'm going to call you Timmy," Kate interrupted. "Sorry, go ahead."
"Ah, yes. Well, I'm the ship's chief hospitality officer. It's my responsibility to ensure all of the guest's needs are taken care of."
"Well, I'm bored. Will you take me on a tour of the ship?"
Timothy paused to think for a moment while scratching his neck. His shift had just ended, and he didn't have anything else planned. "As the chief hospitality officer, it would be my pleasure to give you a tour ma'am. I mean Kate. Sorry." Timothy extended his elbow.
"Are you always so serious? You're funny!" Kate took his arm.
*
"When the colonies declared independence, they defaulted on the loans that had financed their development. Earth declared war to seize assets for the banks who financed the colonies' development and to re-assert taxation authority on the population," explained Timothy as he escorted Kate through the observation deck overlooking planet Jobs below.
"The Carolina was originally a low-atmosphere warship meant to deploy troop transports and fighter craft. Most colonies knew what was coming and were heavily armed. Half of the ships in this class were nuked only seconds after arriving in orbit.
"Unlike the other colonies that modeled themselves after the historical American colonial government, the population of Jobs had organized a consensus-based government. They had no leadership, just a few moderators. As a result, they couldn't organize any effective defenses. The entirety of Jobs fell to Earth's forces within seven hours.
"And because they weren't detonating nukes in orbit, the environment was undamaged. Earth seized the communal land and divided it into lots. They turned the Carolina into a tour ship with the hope that passengers will decide to invest in the land below."
"ZZzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, sorry, did you say something?" Kate teased. "Can you start from the beginning, please?"
"Uhm, okay. So, when the colonial government..."
"Oh stop, I'm messing with you! Really, it's all fascinating. Did you get any action in the war? How many men did you kill? "
Thomas hung his head. "Well, actually, I finished my training after most of the colonies had fallen. And I was assigned to this ship right before we headed to Jobs, so I really didn't see any action at all."
Kate was suddenly distracted. "What's that! Outside, over there!" She pointed.
"That? It's a chim, one of the many fauna native to Jobs."
The chim spread its gold-feathered, seven meters across wings as it soared, stalled, and banked back down to the planet.
"What is it doing this high up? Aren't we still in orbit?" Kate pressed her face to the glass.
"We are descending, but yes, the female chim can reach low orbit at around 50 kilometers on this planet. It's part of their mating ritual. The females are much stronger than the males and fly skyward when they're fertile. The males pursue and the female picks the male who makes it the furthest before stalling."
"They're so beautiful. Are they reptiles or birds?"
"The taxonomists are still trying to figure it out. By the way, we are now low enough to breathe the air, so the open decks have been unlocked. Would you like to go outside?"
Kate nodded enthusiastically.
*
When they reached the deck, they saw three men in uniform. One was holding a skeet gun and aiming it over the railing. He fired the gun and one of the chim who was gliding near the ship exploded.
Kate reflexively squeezed Timothy's arm.
"Hey, what's your name!" yelled Timothy at the man. "That's strictly forbidden by the rules of operations. There is to be no killing of the native wildlife. You're going on report!"
The man slung the gun over his shoulder and approached Timothy. He was a foot taller than Timothy and weighed twice as much. "What are you going to do about it? Don't you have some sheets to fold?"
Timothy recognized the man as a low-ranking enlisted officer. "I am your superior on this ship, and you will speak to me with respect."
"Respect this." The enlisted man punched Timothy in the mouth, sending him tumbling to the deck. Before Timothy could get up, two other enlisted men pulled their friend away and through a port.
Kate helped Timothy to his feet. "They're not going to get away with that, are they?"
Timothy sighed. "Since the war ended, discipline kind of crumbled. When this was a proper warship, he would have been executed for striking a superior officer. Now that we're a glorified cruise ship...."
"Your lip is bleeding. Are you okay?" Kate dabbed Timothy's mouth with a tissue from her purse.
"I'll be fine. I assume you and your husband will be enjoying the ship's evening festivities? They start in about thirty minutes."
"Yes, I think so. Will you be joining us?"
"I'm afraid I can't."
"But tomorrow ? will you finish showing me around the ship?"
"Yes, I can meet you here tomorrow morning at eight, planet time. Is that satisfactory?"
Through a smile, Kate tried to imitate Timothy's formal tone. "Yes, that is satisfactory, Lieutenant." She saluted and giggled.
*
Timothy returned to his cabin. He could hear the music from the lido deck above him. He carefully polished his shoes and then his brass. Then he removed his uniform and carefully inspected it for Irish pennants.
Before climbing into bed, he opened a box on his desk containing a small chim and gave it food and water.
*
Thirty minutes after the time they agreed to meet, Kate walked onto the deck. Timothy noticed a mark on her face under her left eye.
"Are you okay? What happened to you?"
"I found some messages on my husband's communicator and..." She buried her face in her hands.
"Hey, let's get you to the sickbay. They'll take care of that."
*
Timothy sat in the waiting area outside sickbay. A cheerful Kate emerged, the black mark gone and replaced with a smile. "So, Lieutenant, shall we continue with our tour?"
*
"This is the hangar bay. During the war, this would house either 200 fighters here or 20 troop transports, each capable of holding 500 men. "
"What's that? It looks so retro!" Kate let go of Timothy's arm and ran ahead.
"That's the Onanymous. It was a tax seizure from one of the planet's residents. It has modern propulsion technology under the hood, but the original owner had a steam punk fascination and had it fabricated to look like a dirigible. She'll probably be scrapped, which is too bad, because she flies really well."
"You've flown that thing?" asked Kate, excitedly.
"Yes. I was originally trained and commissioned as a pilot, but they didn't need so many of us when the war ended. I was re-assigned to, well, this." Timothy pointed to the badge on his uniform with the words "Hospitality" stitched in capital letters.
"Take me for a ride, Timmy!"
"I'd be happy to, but it's against regulations for me to depart the ship."
"Please?"
*
The Onanymous sped towards the solar terminator, crossing from day into night.
"I want to show you something." Timothy brought the ship to a standstill above an intricate network of branches above an embankment. "When I initially arrived on this planet, I found a collection of chim nests. Several thousand are here, all in close proximity."
Kate looked down at the water below the nests. "It looks shallow. Can we swim?"
"Yeah, it should be fine. Do you have a suit?" Before he'd finished his sentence, Kate had pulled off her clothes and was standing naked in front of him. Timothy turned red and looked away. "I guess not."
"You North Americans are such prudes. Let's go!"
He stripped down to his boxers and led the way down the ship's ladder. Kate followed him into the dark, warm water below.
*
"I hope you enjoyed the trip, Kate. I'll see you around, unless you need anything else?"
"Where are you going now, Timmy?"
"I need to get back to my quarters."
"What's the rush? Do you have a date?"
"No, I, well, I've been caring for a baby chim I found abandoned. It's feeding time."
"Who knew you had such a soft spot? You must show me."
*
"He's so tiny. I can't believe it will grow into something so large."
Tim took the bird from her hands and returned it to the box. When he looked back towards Kate, she was smiling. Tim met her eyes for a moment too long, pulled her body close to him and kissed her. She returned his embrace.
Kissing gave way to more, and their bodies merged.
*
Timothy gazed at the ceiling above his bed. Kate was cuddled against him. He could feel her staring at his face. He turned to her and asked, "What now?"
Kate smiled and shrugged.