The story of Worth is divine
It has maidens and legends and pacts
To get to the end may take time
We begin with the man we call Jax

It was a vision he saw when he dreamed
Of a place where the children could play
It was harder than maybe it seemed
Because Worth was not built in a day

For months he would toil and grind
As he coded and plotted and strived
Worth rose up strong from his mind
And the day of the opening arrived

In the days, weeks and months that came after
The lost ones stumbled inside
As they sat they discovered the laughter
Enlightened by Worthian pride

Till one day there arrived a strange man
Who was dressed in the strangest attire
A pink bunny with yearnings to ban
Should you taunt him or feed his desire

The new[nf]bies were drawn to this king
With gold stars shining bright in their eyes
As they battled for mantlepiece bling
The elusive, revered first place prize

There were many who failed in their quest
And we doubt it was all with intent
Though they submitted their personal best
To the Creme de la Crap it was sent

The bunny eyed his kingdom with pleasure
But no place did he have to relax
Till one day he was granted this treasure
A castel made purely of snacks

As Worth grew it became a religion
Users praised the creator and source
Who would have thought from Jax's vision
Would spring forth such a powerful force?

"2 my monty!' they shouted in glee
And in hyjinx they schemed their design
To reach every home in the country
And to convert all the Farkers in time

New[nf]bies find Worth and hear tales of old
It's a story necessary to tell
They see fame and the prospect of gold
But the history's important as well

And with that I must leave you to rest
Though there is more to this story I admit
There are votes to be placed in a contest
And an entry I need to submit.

Sing to the Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song!

Now listen to a story
‘Bout a site called Worth,
It’s come a long, long way,
In the few years since it’s birth.
It’s been in all the papers,
And a book deal they now see!!
And they’ve gotten just so big
That they’ve added poetry!

Writing, that is. Animation too. All kinds of stuff.

Well, the full name’s Worth 1000,
And it’s quite a good name, too.
But if you are too lazy, then
It’s W1K for you.
No matter how you type it,
You are always guaranteed!
To find a lot of quality
In every gallery.

Photoshop, that is. Funny stuff. Check out Martha.

Now we have to thank the founders
For their brainchild we adore.
The jurors too, are special
And their stars can make us soar!
We thank you for the time you spend
Ensuring quality!
And we’re sure that Worth will dominate
The current century.

Worth 1000, that is. The best of the web. Thank you, Avi.

I’m a Worthian and I’m okay,
I photoshop and text all day.
_______He’s a Worthian and he’s okay,
_______He photoshops and texts all day.

chords: / G - CE7 Am7 / D D7 GC G /

I cut and paste, I mask and crop, I use the diction-ary,
it all looks quite atrocious, and sometimes even scary.
_______He cuts and pastes, he masks and crops...[etc.]

chords: / G - C Am7 / D D7 G - / G - C A7 / D7 - GC G

I vote on all the entries, my comments are quite clean,
I never get a trophy, and that is really mean!
_______He votes on all the entries... [etc.]

My karma's great, I vote real good, I’m never-ever banned;
for winning just one contest, I’d give you my right hand.
_______His karma’s great... [etc.]

Notes:
Throw in a chorus of „He’s a Worthian“ (or „she“, depending on gender and/or preference) every once and a while.
Feel free to ad lib new verses as soon as blood alcohol levels increase.

To the tune of Greensleeves

Now gather 'round, and I will tell
A tale of friendship and rivalry.
It all takes place upon the web,
A site called Worth 1000.

Chorus:
Worth 1000! What a site!
In your entries we delight!
All are welcome to submit,
And learn at Worth 1000.

It started out unknowingly,
A friendly type of rivalry.
When one took silver, one took gold.
In a contest at Worth 1000.
(Chorus)

And so it was, that one fine day,
Upon the web a challenge came.
The rivalry would be resolved,
Through joust on Worth 1000.
(Chorus)

And so was called a head-to-head,
A friendly challenge, or so was said.
Four hundred words to write their best,
Then judged on Worth 1000.
(Chorus)

Their fingers flew upon the keys,
They dotted I’s and crossed all T’s.
For with this entry they would show,
Their best to Worth 1000.
(Chorus)

At last the day of judgment came,
The time of truth in this fair game.
But one would win, the other lose,
This joust on Worth 1000.
(Chorus)

They held their breath expectantly,
To see the voting on each entry,
Then golden ram’s horns were assigned,
To one on Worth 1000!
(Chorus)

The winner said, so graciously,
"’Twas close, you wrote so beautifully.
But to the Sugar Shack you must go,
And praise me on Worth 1000!"
(Chorus)

And so the loser paid the price,
In Sugar Shack all sweet and nice.
But he did vow that he’d avenge,
Himself on Worth 1000!

Final Chorus:
Worth 1000! You’re the best!
You offer up such great contests.
Added to our Favorites list,
We love you, our Worth 1000!

Double-U one kay is the name of the site
Where Photoshop heroes and heroines fight
Since Two thousand and one they have gasped at our might
Double-U one kay is the name of the site.

Double-U one kay is the place we call home
Through the darkness we wandered, the net we did comb
Till a light shone on Google, no longer alone
Double-U one kay is the place we call home.

Double-U one kay, for top honours we strive
Though the entry you slaved over averages five
And your graph is displaying a plummeting dive
Double-U one kay, for top honours we strive.

Double-U one kay run by Avi the Great
And the almighty jurors who determine your fate
Good karma and stars, it’s a spiritual place
Double-U one kay run by Avi the Great.

Double-U one kay is where legends are made
And sponsored contests ensure that we get paid
Only when Meowza enters should you be afraid
Double-U one kay is where legends are made.

Double-U one kay is the key to self glory
With a well chosen subject or powerful story
Please follow the rules else be failed by the jury
Double-U one kay is the key to self glory.

Double-U one kay, so come join the fun
There are golden medals and trophies to be won
Now strike up the band and fire the gun
Double-U one kay, so come join the fun.

There once was a man named Avi Muchnick,
Who with iZ wanted to start a site,
They knew a catchy name to do the trick,
To show Fark how much they bite,
So began Worth 1000.

At first they didn’t have much to do,
But they decided on a PhotoShop contest,
This is where they met Mr. Arsidubu,
Who put all the competition to rest,
At Worth 1000.

The little site then grew and grew,
But a few things were just not right,
Now enter the man called IQ,
Who submitted to Avi his entire plight,
About Worth 1000.

Karma then began its reign,
And IQ even became an admin,
So having eliminated the voting pain,
Many accolades they did win,
At Worth 1000.

Now on the path to world domination,
Avi knew that he needed to expand,
So he added Text, Photography, and Illustration,
To appease the growing demand,
Of Worth 1000.

But one obstacle still stood in the way,
For Avi still had Fark to efface
So he invited them to an inter-site fray,
And we threw them into second place,
At Worth 1000.

Now Worth’s domination in contests was secure,
And the forums and chat are visited by herds,
For they have always been kept clean and pure,
But the point remains that a picture is worth a thousand words,
Here, at Worth 1000.

(Sung to Davy, Davy Crockett)

Born of a dream, not long ago
A geek or two just had to show,
What they could do,
when they chopped a pic.
Now we know what makes ‘em tic.

Worthy! Worthy Chop-it!
King of the Web sites here.

Geeks and freaks from all the world
Took their turns and give it a whirl.
Photoshop and a little Corel
Made our site super-swell.

Worthy! Worthy Chop-it!
King of the Web sites here.

Well, ya don’t what yer going ta get
Could be good, could be Shet
Everybody’s welcome to give it a try
But when you lose you better not cry.

Worthy! Worthy Chop-it!
King of the Web sites here.

Chopper wizards from on high
'Nubile young things' who post and die
Fixer freaks who pout all day
They’re the junkies of Worth1K

Eating lots of junk food trash
Trained to fear hard drives that crash
Wanting 'Picture of the Day'
Wasting time on Worth1K

Juror’s picks for all the best
Wilderness for all the rest
Collective voting has its sway
Only three win on Worth1K

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a web site kewl
Where a poor Photoshopper barely gets to rest your tool.
An' then one day, you’ll by loadin’ up some crap,
An' down thru the clouds comes a big crapslap.
Cliché, that was! Flag Bait! CDLC!

Well, the next thing ya know, ol’ Jax a millionaire.
Worth-folk said, "Jax, how come you don’t share?" Said
“Purgatory is the place y'oughta be,” so they
loaded up the crap, and they moved to PSC.
New Jersey, that is! CNP! Spectrum5!

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jax and all his friends,
An' they would like to thank y’all fer kindly checkin’ in.
You're all invited back again to this locality,
T'have a heapin' helpin' of their hospitality.
Contests, that is! Enter one! Pay your own way!
Y'all come back, now, y’here?