I’ve found something to die for
And that’s why I’m alive;
I’ve found what I’ve been searching for
And that’s why I survive.
I’ve found something to live for
And that’s why I can not die;
I’ve found one thing to strive for
And that’s why I soar high.

I’ve found what I’ve been longing for
And I strive to make it real;
I’ve found what I have come here for
And I’ve finally struck my deal.
I’ve found what I've been breathing for
And I love the way it feels.
I’ve found the answer I’ve been looking for
And it almost seems surreal.

I’ve found what I've been waiting for
And it helps me to cope;
I’ve found one thing to hope for
And that one thing is hope.

I watched the nightly news tonight,
And horrors did I see.
The world is full of violence,
Sorrow and misery.

They told of things like genocide,
Starvation, and of war.
Scenes of hatred filled the screen,
‘Till I could take no more.

As I thought about the future,
Despair washed over me.
How could the human race survive
Such vicious savagery?

I wandered to my window,
My soul in agony.
Then a sound came, sweet and clear,
Carried on the breeze.

It was a bright and joyous noise,
That spoke of hopes and dreams.
The sound of children laughing,
Drifted in to me.

The children held our future,
And in them I could see,
A better world tomorrow,
For all humanity.

I stood and watched them playing,
A lightness in my soul.
For they hold hope, and joy, and love,
May children make us whole.

As the sky denies me any light or direction,
The thunder booms down,
Heaved by a waves the ship rolls over,
And like some great Leviathan it drags me down,
And I am lost

Light now, blessed lights shines in,
I struggle awake, adrift on a plank,
The sky is now lit,
The sun it does sit in the sky but betrays no land,
And I am lost

The time that goes by, agonizing eons
They crawl as I thirst, floating in a desert
And I sleep

A ship passes close, glorious salvation
But this ship is listing, sails torn and tattered
On the deck now a man become Death, holding a girl,
Death points his finger, my heart leaps
And I know I am lost

Hope shakes her head and blows a faint kiss,
A whisper echoes across the empty waves
All is not lost

Sinking, and coughing I wake,
Drinking and choking, the deep it surrounds me,
But I am not lost

An arm splashes down, like a eel it wraps round me
And hoists me out from my watery grave,
An old grizzeled man with the coat of a captain,
He glances me over and asks me my name

And I am not lost

She sits on the porch
With her doll, singing softly.
Legs swinging, eyes shining,
Singing softly, softly.

She sits in the shadows
In her own world, daydreaming,
Unaware of me watching,
Quietly dreaming, dreaming.

She sings to her doll
Rocking gently, slowly.
Sings of babies and cradles
Rocking slowly, slowly.

I watch, then I smile
In my own world, daydreaming
Eyes shining, mind wandering
Smiling softly, softly.

I sat on this porch
With my baby, singing.
I sat in that very spot
Softly singing, singing.

She stops and looks up,
The spell breaks and she laughs.
I sit down and we whisper
Laughing softly, softly.

Perhaps one distant day
She'll stand in my place,
Watching her little girl play,
Smiling softly, softly.

As I open my eyes and embrace another day,
My shackled bones grind and moan,
Three Hundred and Sixty Five that ebb and sway;
Shall I turn in bed- be left alone?

Nay! I rise on thoughts of what's to be,
Who I am to meet and what I'll see,
Jumping to my feet, rubbing sleep away,
Dancing like a child , Black fading to gray,
Quicker, quicker, my heels pulsing on the floor,
Open, open the creaking, wooden door,
Breathe life in, take it by the horns,
Slip inside your slighting soul,
Drink deep and let it wax.

Forget the muddied past;
A thousand promises left broken,
Jaded eyes- the fears they soak in,
Nameless people torn in two,
Know nothing of what I speak,
Nor the joy of this promising view,
They wander on aimlessly,
Fixed on the ‘then’ that is not now,
Never seeing the illuminating brightness,
Of a burning sun licking the horizon.

So I sit here on the porch,
Alone, perhaps they’d say,
Enjoying every moment,
Of this Three Hundred and Sixty Five sway,
Child, I know it is often easy,
To go through life searching for what is wrong ,
But I promise you this, if you make the effort,
See it, Smell it, Live it, through the eyes of hope,
Though the darkness may try to creep in,
The life you lead will be its own,
An untainted, melodious song.

shake my head, i stir in bed
and never thought
or knew it ought

to be the way, it is

to see the day, and live the way

you know this can’t be His

no purpose, plan,
no more, than man
with nothing to blame but personal shame
the moves made,
the path laid

no lesser of evils bring mental upheavals
see the pain,
feel the rain
no matter what i do,
accept the dues, embrace my blues

this will likely change it all

but live the way i know the day
my debits all justly paid,
look back and laugh, or maybe cry
wonder how it went awry

what will happen has
not for worry
but the story
of how it burned, what had been learned
the coins tossed,
and all i lost

and how i made it through

and in the end
beyond the bend
believe a better day
and know,
though slow,
it’s must be on the way

A web of pipes
In a cave of brick
A wood covered hole
Air that is thick

Creatures of metal
And wires that grow cold
Once signs of life
Now ageing and old

Dimly covered ground
Walls that are jeweled
A portrait of nothing
In a kingdom once ruled

A spirit that is dead
And gone far away
A thought that has passed
A vision that stayed

A mind that divided
A fire that died out
The piercing scream of silence
In an echoing shout

Blood from a wound
That healed with no scar
Death borne from the living
Night from a star

Gold turns to green
And greed into black
A poisoned tipped arrow
A knife in the back

A rust-covered cross
A flag thrown to the ground
An eye that searches
Where nothing is found

Ice that burns cold
The flame flickers white
The smell of decay
In the still of the night

The sweet taste of ruin
Victory in defeat
Love borne from hate
In a heart that can’t beat

Explosions that destroy
Destructions that create
Creations that explode
Men that press fate

In the darkness of hell
When you can’t seem to cope
The smallest of sparks
Is the place we find hope

When I look into a mirror
The reflection that I see
Is a happy looking girl
Staring back at me

I look at her more closely
To try and read her face
She stares back with eager eyes
Filled with joy, love, and grace

I sit there for a minute
Trying to figure out
What this teenage girl
Could be so glad about

Then it finally comes to mind
Why she appears this way
Because she lives life to it’s fullest
Each and every day

Maybe if we all
Would help each other live
We’d have so much more to offer
So much more to give

We need to take a moment
To let our true selves shine
Because then a miracle will happen
Everyone’s reflection will look like mine

Natasha.
My little girl.
Silently standing beside the hospital bed.
You look so small and frail, lost in the expanse of white linen.

It is cancer, the doctors say.
Where there is life, there is hope, they say.

I hold your hand.
Your mother is crying.
I have never learned to cry.

You do not understand why it hurts so much.
The medications make you throw up.
Thinner and thinner.
Your hair falls out.

It is in her bones, the doctors say.
Their reassuring smiles have turned wooden.

There is always hope, they say.

Natasha.
My little girl.

Hope dies last.

___________________________________________________________________
On April 26, 1986, at 1:23 a.m. an explosion and fire occurred in Reactor Number 4 of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in Ukraine. Today, more than 16 years after the incident, Ukrainian children are still born with genetic mutations or harmed by radioactive food.

There lies turmoil and pain in the past
With heartbreaks happening in loops,
My dreams and wishes are torn away
As some would seek their selfish wants;

Am I to trust again and risk the odds
Or should I run for fear of another anguish,
Some things can only happen so many times
Then the wounded must withdraw to survive;

We all have limits that we can endure
And each is as different as the person,
The breaking point is not always known
But when reached there can be no return;

Where is mine and do I push its bounds
Because I truly wonder at my endurance,
For love may be a risk in its undertaking
While its rewards can be sheer bliss and joy;

These questions greet me at this time
Now that life once again gives me hope,
A new chance for that happiness in love
That will bring a lasting companionship.