Here lies John in yon Boot Hill,
Worked in the local sawmill,

Asleep at 9, awake first light,
Same routine both day and night,

'til one day fell a piece of lumber,
Which put him in eternal slumber,

Before he died, with his last breath,
He claimed that he was "board" to death

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Because I am dead
Our love is taboo

Beloved Host of Wheel of Fortune

Died from a painful vowel movement

R _ S T
_ N
P _ _ C _

For this unknown pirate,
"X" marks the spot,
he thought his pistol was loaded,
alas, it was not.

I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic
I used to be much more aerobic
But now I am dead
My old pals have fled
My new friends are mostly saprobic

I built a fortune in my day
But then I gambled it away.
Don't bother digging - nothing's left.
I died and left you all bereft.

Here lies Joe, a pleasant gent.
He delivered the mail that we all sent.
Was not a dog that did him in
but a small rabid squirrel that bit his shin.

It turns out, there are TWO things I'm allegric to...Cats and Bullets.

Here lies Holyfield,
minus one ear.
You'll find it with Tyson,
who also lies near.

After 40 years was widowed.
No freedom did I lack.
Now here I lay out once again
Shafted. On my back.