When your tummy aches
And your gut starts to shiver,
Run like the wind,
Not like a river
With Implodium!

When television's not enough
To distract your pride and joy

You can keep him still or shut her up
With a shiny new GameBoy!

What was that?
I can't hear!
I-Pod's stuck,
In my ear.

I-Pod holds,
A thousand songs!
A million pirates,
Can't be wrong.

*Until they're sued

Microsoft: Cuz it's not like you've got a choice, so choose... Microsoft.

Forget about cholesterol,
Because everyone dies!

Carbs aren't that bad,
They look good on your thighs!

Have another Big Mac,
We love your Supersize!

Dexatrim: Because proper nutrtition and exercise are for losers!

Have a "slump" and feeling weary?
Want your wife to "Thank you, Deary"?
Try our Blue Pill, Get Up and Cheery!
Try Viag-RAH today!

Viagra....

"If it keeps you going for 4 hours, a trip to the hospital is no big deal."

Bean-0h! ~
Your feedback helps us improve our product. Your backsides keep us in business.

Philadelphia: A little taste of heaven, with all the fat in Hell...