Error: Sadly, one of the programs your running has failed to function properly and you’re going to have to restart. It’s my fault and I feel really bad about it. To say sorry for the trouble I have made the following changes:

I’ve fixed the broken file so this shouldn't happen again,
I've alerted all the people you are talking to that you'll be right back,
And I have also saved that project you where working on so all your work won't be lost, (nice job by the way)

Once again, I’m very sorry.

I could produce a random number and use a lot of big, confusing words, but I'm going to admit right now that I have no clue what you did to me. Just hit the reset button now and get it over with.

WARNING: This week's useless file was randomly selected to be C:\Windows\Explorer\System]Sysmngmnt\Sysexec.exe and removed from your system. Good luck!

ERROR:

This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. This computer is automatically reporting the violation to the Department of Homeland Security.

You have the right to remain silent. If you choose to continue typing, our keystroke logging software will record information that may be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to call Microsoft Tech Support. If you cannot afford $60 an hour to speak to a technician, you are s--- out of luck.

And by the way, did you know your 13-year-old son has been searching Google for images of "13-year-old" girls? All of us here at Justice are looking forward to reviewing your cache when we seize your hard drive.

Click "OK" to continue.

Cheater!

You're using a Macintosh at home.
I know you are. I can tell by the way that you never right-click anymore. And you're pressing Control when you mean Alt.
Is it me? Am I getting too stale for you? Are you looking for something flashier, more exciting?
Please don't leave me.

ERROR: Monitor display unavailable.

An exception has occurred at 3894:47598(C) SJUK 3749-(5F) + 6000. this was called from 3894:47598(C) SJUK 3749- (4D) + 6000. It may be possible to continue normally.

Actually, that is not true, we lied.
* Pressing any key to try to continue will only result in failure.
* Press CTRL+ALT+DELETE to restart your computer. You will lose all unsaved information in all applications.

This error is our fault and we are not sorry for any inconvenience.

Thank you for choosing Microsoft.

Warning!

Discontinue usage of graphics tablet immediately.

It tickles like crazy.

Unfortunately this error message is corrupt. Please repeat this error to correct.

Error: Non-system disk:
Your complete lack of musical taste disturbs me, and I promise I will continue to shatter every progressive post minimalist, new wave garage punk /death metal fusion; neo classical country rap, boy band cabaret; indie ghetto grunge, improvisational hard trance CDs as well as any straight edge, ambient soulful acid hip hop; electro industrial house gangster faux funk disco; neo ska jungle break beat; lo-fi hard core emo pub jazz; two tone afro reggae folk blues; and pop CDs you attempt to play.