A drunk driver fell in a moat
And discovered his car wouldn't float
He was found in the wreck
Submerged to his neck
Mumbling "Next time I'm taking the boat."

To get myself in the mood,
I wrote my limerick while nude.
About a man from Nantucket,
his spoon and a bucket.
So why was my entry DQ'ed?

A show parachutist was dead
And his mistress was out of her head
'Cause the dress she had made
For the show and parade
Was from silk she had found in the shed

There once was a girl named Paris
A sultry American heiress.
In a wild night with her beau,
She put on quite a show;
She shouldn't have been so careless.

A Wervian riting from Italy
rote ol his Inglish fonitikly
wen dey sed "dats not rite"
he started to fite
abowt koments not given so kritikly

There was an old man from Tacoma
Who said,"I can't stand this aroma."
He plugged up his nose
With two buds from a rose,
And immediately fell into a coma.

There once was a man from Seattle
To Enumclaw he would skedaddle
The three local hookers
To him weren't real lookers
He'd rather date horses and cattle.

There once was a young man from Kent
Whose errogenous member was bent.
He bemoaned 'No i can't!'
Til a girl with a slant
Came along and both were heaven sent.

I got bored on the 'net one day,
so I sold myself on EBay.
The money was good,
'till I was covered in wood
And placed on a mantle in Marseille

Last night as I lay dreaming in bed
Visions of ice cream entered my head
But after just one bite
I awoke with a fright
And a mouth full of feathers instead!