"One small step for man, one giant bill for the taxpayer."
~ PaulC44446

"Money is the root of all purchases."
~ titojuante

"Where there's a will, there are 20 relatives nobody's ever heard of fighting for what they want."
~ Anni

These, and other truths will be revealed in this contest, where you will expose common sayings to the light of common sense. We're going to teach those 'words of wisdom' a thing or two about being pragmatic.

The rules of the game are thus: take a common expression, saying, old saw, axiom, etc. and change it to say what we all really know to be true. How would it be written, if taken literally? Keep in mind that profanity is not acceptable. As always, quality is a must, we will remove poor entries no matter how much we like you. You will have 5 days for this contest so make your submissions count.

One expression per entry, please. Word guideline: 50