The Limerick, one should observe,
Should always be held in reserve.
For it's meter and rhyme
Lends credence and time
To the overtly whimsical perv.

My lover put me to the test
“Dear,” he said, “am I the best?”
“I can’t really say,”
I replied in dismay,
“I haven’t had everyone yet…”

Though he speaks with the voice of a muppet
Master Yoda is nobody’s puppet
With his saber of light
‘Gainst the Dark Side he’ll fight
And his bum will have no hand shoved up it

In a bicycle race across France
An American rider named Lance
Wins with ease every year
But the ladies don’t cheer
So he’ll ride the next Tour without pants

There are dishes piled up in the sink,
And the garbage is starting to stink,
Socks and briefs on the floor,
Empty beer cans galore
I need a new husband, I think.

I snack as I ponder my state
On the three racks of ribs on my plate
But I just don't know why
I'm such a fat guy
When I try so hard to lose weight

Damn the digestive process.
"All You Can Eat" is B.S.
Stall handle I tried.
Oh crap, occupied.
Likewise, my pants are a mess.

For toothpaste I use piccalilli
My mom says I’m just being silly
But why should she care?
She shampoos her hair
With a mixture of garlic and chilli!

I moronically went to a Swede
And yelled "You're a large one indeed!"
With one violent act
I was forcefully smacked
And placed into medical need.

There once was a kid like no other
Who caused his folks no end of bother
At school it was thought
He just couldn’t be taught
Believe me, I know, I’m his mother!