Global CouncilArena AdminHarry122 said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 4:10:42 PM EDT

Q. What was Medusa's favorite kind of cheese?

A. Gorgonzola.


I want groaners. Bad ones. Go.

We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering.
Arena Moderatorsk said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 4:26:19 PM EDT

It's funny you chose that joke, because Medusa invited me over for lunch yesterday. Food was hard as a rock. Coffee was stone cold.

thanks for the help grey pig thing of epicness
Global CouncilArena AdminPixelDustMT said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 4:47:21 PM EDT

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~ Dr. Seuss
PSHoudini said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 4:54:08 PM EDT

Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"

Brazucas Club
Beer
HogHeaven said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 5:18:08 PM EDT

How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?


Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

It made me laugh. :P

Edited to add:
D'oh, MsgtBob I'm coming after you for that lol.
D'oh, Meer you're now on the list too lol.
Oh man, sk your name has been added lol.

"weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee we we weeeeeeeeeeeee".
Bright Idea Bright Idea Bright Idea
PSHoudini said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 5:29:06 PM EDT

+ in reply to...  

lol...i heard one of those some time ago. but the diference was, one person holds the light bulb and the rest turn the house around. but your version is awesome. lol

Brazucas Club
Global CouncilArena AdminAnni said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 7:03:51 PM EDT

Oddly fitting, sorry. lol


"Did you hear about that new movie, Constipated?"
"No..."
"Oh, it didn't come out yet."

Puppy Power. (It can get you through a day better then most anything else.)
Exaspera said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 8:28:14 PM EDT

How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Fish

"Sorry my life is so much more bitchin' than yours. I planned it that way." Charlie Sheen
Global CouncilArena AdminHarry122 said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 8:48:12 PM EDT

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasnt much, but the reception was excellent.

We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering.
torgar said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 8:52:48 PM EDT

HogHeaven said
How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?


Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.

I've heard this one about women, but I guess it goes for artists as well.

And the next one after the women-joke usually is this:

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Men aren't afraid of the dark!


To which women usually reply: 'Well, most of them can't read anyway.'

To which most men usually have no response but: 'Shut up, woman, and go change that f******* light bulb!'

Global CouncilArena AdminPixelDustMT said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 9:54:27 PM EDT

Does excessive methane release (farting) ruin a cow's milk production?
Yes, because of the poisonous dairy-air.

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~ Dr. Seuss
Fishcat said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 9:59:13 PM EDT

And the one about that woman backing into a fan........

...disaster!

Space for something witty.
RatbarSteward said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 10:37:45 PM EDT

I ran through a screen door once.
Strained myself.

It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome
Global CouncilArena Adminloremipsum said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 11:03:21 PM EDT

What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts!

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

"It's not a crutch dad, it's just something I'm relying on to get me through life." -Bobby Hill
Arena ModeratorMadMonkey2 said 1 year ago 3/23/2011 11:40:21 PM EDT

What is big, red and doesn't eat rocks??


A big red rock eater that's on a diet.

In an insane society, a sane person must appear insane. -Spock
HogHeaven said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 1:19:38 AM EDT

What does a pig put on cuts?


Oinkment

"weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee we we weeeeeeeeeeeee".
elbb said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 3:24:54 AM EDT

Where did the colonel put his army?

In his sleeve-y.

Global CouncilArena Adminkimbomac said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 3:53:46 AM EDT

Where do you take a sick horse?

To the horsepital.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuffs
millgage said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 6:28:55 AM EDT

Why do cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Slightly NSFW They would fill up the other way

[Edited by User on 2/3/2012 1:12:48 AM, Reason: spelling]

In order to THINK OUTSIDE the box. One must first DEFINE the BOX... Who took my box?
RatbarSteward said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 6:29:55 AM EDT

How do you spot Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?

He's the only one with sesame seed buns.

It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome
Global CouncilArena Adminkimbomac said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 9:04:51 AM EDT

How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. That's a hardware problem.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuffs
millgage said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 9:32:07 AM EDT

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just declare darkness to be the standard.

In order to THINK OUTSIDE the box. One must first DEFINE the BOX... Who took my box?
Global CouncilArena AdminKookaburra said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 10:36:54 AM EDT

How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's alright, I will just sit here in the dark. /sigh/

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. ~Oscar Wilde
zannahb said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 11:07:42 AM EDT

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. ~Plato
Global CouncilArena Adminarsidubu said 1 year ago 3/24/2011 12:30:50 PM EDT

How many Worthians does it take to change a light bulb?

20

1 to notice it's burned out and then start a thread about it in the Illo forum.

1 admin to move the thread to the proper forum.

6 to post in the thread that they agree it's out.

3 to PM every admin they can find in the FAQ to alert them it's burned out.

1 Brazilian to request a translation of the Burned-out Bulb Thread.

1 noob to derail the thread with a question about tablets.

1 Mac user to post that they never have a problem with their LED bulbs that cost 25 bucks apiece.

5 admins to discuss the bulb for a week.

1 StaffTech to fix the problem.

I love rust.
Anni Pixie Kooky Bird Funny Fanatic's Rocket