Q. What was Medusa's favorite kind of cheese?A. Gorgonzola.I want groaners. Bad ones. Go.
It's funny you chose that joke, because Medusa invited me over for lunch yesterday. Food was hard as a rock. Coffee was stone cold.
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack""No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
How many artists does it take to change a light bulb?Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.It made me laugh. :PEdited to add:D'oh, MsgtBob I'm coming after you for that lol.D'oh, Meer you're now on the list too lol.Oh man, sk your name has been added lol.
+ in reply to...
lol...i heard one of those some time ago. but the diference was, one person holds the light bulb and the rest turn the house around. but your version is awesome. lol
Oddly fitting, sorry. lol"Did you hear about that new movie, Constipated?""No...""Oh, it didn't come out yet."
How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?Answer: Fish
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasnt much, but the reception was excellent.
HogHeaven saidHow many artists does it take to change a light bulb?Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.
I've heard this one about women, but I guess it goes for artists as well.And the next one after the women-joke usually is this:How many men does it take to change a light bulb?None. Men aren't afraid of the dark!To which women usually reply: 'Well, most of them can't read anyway.'To which most men usually have no response but: 'Shut up, woman, and go change that f******* light bulb!'
Does excessive methane release (farting) ruin a cow's milk production? Yes, because of the poisonous dairy-air.
And the one about that woman backing into a fan...........disaster!
I ran through a screen door once.Strained myself.
What's invisible and smells like worms?Bird farts!How do you make a tissue dance?Put a little boogie in it.
What is big, red and doesn't eat rocks??A big red rock eater that's on a diet.
What does a pig put on cuts?Oinkment
Where did the colonel put his army?In his sleeve-y.
Where do you take a sick horse?To the horsepital.
Why do cavemen drag their women by the hair?Slightly NSFW They would fill up the other way[Edited by User on 2/3/2012 1:12:48 AM, Reason: spelling]
How do you spot Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?He's the only one with sesame seed buns.
How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?None. That's a hardware problem.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?None. They just declare darkness to be the standard.
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?None. That's alright, I will just sit here in the dark. /sigh/
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
How many Worthians does it take to change a light bulb?201 to notice it's burned out and then start a thread about it in the Illo forum.1 admin to move the thread to the proper forum.6 to post in the thread that they agree it's out.3 to PM every admin they can find in the FAQ to alert them it's burned out.1 Brazilian to request a translation of the Burned-out Bulb Thread.1 noob to derail the thread with a question about tablets.1 Mac user to post that they never have a problem with their LED bulbs that cost 25 bucks apiece.5 admins to discuss the bulb for a week.1 StaffTech to fix the problem.
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