Montezuma’s Revenego Spa, Mexico,
Originally constructed as a 108 suite deluxe motel, the devastating fire of ’99 saw the motel lose about 86% of its private suites. Now the resort boasts the intimacy and private atmosphere normally only afforded to those higher end certified/ lakefront view resorts. If the dangers of the resorts imminent collapse do not frighten you, then relax and enjoy the extravagance of a private twin bed, abundant fresh air and an almost semi-private bathroom. Though the motel cannot guarantee that the washrooms will be in working order, the staff can usually be relied upon to fetch a fresh bucket of water from where the roof is known to leak.
The resorts exclusive executive cafeteria facility offers the latest in Mexican-Italian fusion cooking serving up dinner two to three nights a week. Executive chef Miguel ‘the Hammer’ Mendez learned the fine art of fusion cooking during a five year stint for aggravated assault in one of Mexico’s finest cooking school penitentiaries. I sampled numerous regional specialties during my stay and was amazed at the kitchens consistent ability to enhance all of its dishes with the taste of refried beans. Word of warning to those new to the dining facilities however, best not to complain too loudly as Miguel does tend to have very little patience for criticism.
At only a two minutes trip from the regional airport, the luxurious resort of Montezuma’s will relax and begin working its magic on the weariest of visitors upon arrival. For those visitors who plan of visiting all of the regions local attractions, the nations largest multilane highway is located directly adjacent to the resort (and to be honest, through a good part of it).
Planning on spending you vacation hours staying in the resort (Strongly suggested given the high number of violent crimes in the area)? Let the resorts new full service spa cater to your every superficial whim. The spa operators were eager to introduce me to the resorts many new spa treatments, like the stress releasing deep muscle septic cleansing mud. Imagine yourself waist deep in the resorts septic tank relaxing in 75 years worth of human excrement and you can begin to get a sense of the cleansing power of the spas therapeutic programs. Montezuma’s also prides itself on its new Olympic hot water steam pool. The only pool of its kind in the world, the pool comes from years of research on what to do with the natural spring that was located exactly where the owners wanted the new pool to be built. If you don’t burn easily and are not afraid of surging unpredictable currents then this is the ultimate way to wash away the dirt and biting spiders from the resorts black sand beach nearby.