I found the brochure in my mailbox at work. It was slick and beautiful. The pictured scenery was spectacular. And ohhhhhh, the technology. God, I’m nerd. I’m salivating over the pictures of the servers and PC’s and routers…OH MY! The brochure said the latest technology was at my disposal. Happy, smiling faces of Nerds and Geeks were plastered everywhere!
I had been to summer camp as a child and a mission trip as a teen, but this, oh my! A camp retreat when you’re in Nerd heaven! And the price was just right, only $299.00 for a four week retreat in “An Isolated Crescent of Beauty.” My company offered to pay for the retreat.
I couldn’t wait. I signed up for a four week sabbatical from my job at Microsoft. I just wanted to get away and play! I was so tired of work and answering phones and listening to idiots drone on about their pitiful existence as I solved their pathetic problems. I gleefully gave my company credit card number over the Web. Within three days, I received my ticket by Fed-Ex. New Delhi! India!
The flight was long and tiring, but when I got off the plane and through customs, Sandeep was waiting there with a sign, “Nirvana Technology Retreat.” I bounded up to him and gladly shook his hand.
‘Welcome to Nirvana, I am Sandeep. I will be your Lead for the next four years.”
I was impressed! A lead! Not a counselor! Four years?
I admit that I was a little disappointed by the bus ride. I rode with thirty-some odd geeks from around the world and we managed to keep out excitement up. The ride was long and tedious as we winded through the mountains and narrow dirt roads.
When we finally arrived, the surroundings looked completely different from the brochure.
“Sandeep, this doesn’t look like this,” I said as I pointed to the pictures.
“Ah Yes, Saheeb. We have moved our operations. Not to worry. We have many computers! Come, we have much fun!”
It was beginning to get dark and we were tired and hungry.
“Can we have dinner first?” ask Leona, a fellow Geek.
“No dinner. Fun First!”
We slowly made our way to a huge dirty hut. It was about 200 X 80. As we walked in, the roar of excitement hit us. The room was filled with GEEKS! The surroundings were hot and smelled a bit though. We looked closer. It looked like my office filled with homeless people. They didn’t look like they were having fun. They had headsets on their greasy, unwashed heads.
They had leather tethers attached to their ankles. Their empty eyes only showed sorrow for us as we realized our destiny.
We looked even closer. There were guards with big guns standing at the doors.
Sandeep sneered at us, “Welcome to the Microsoft Helpdesk. Each of you complained about your jobs being sent overseas. Not to worry. You still have jobs. You have been outsourced.”