Received as an unsolicited mail out.
Tired of the drudgery of everyday morality?
Does the thought of spending eternity sitting in the clouds singing make you cringe?
Why not choose Eternal Damnation?
Choose now where to send your soul for your after life adventures.
Just imagine basking in the glow of the fields of brimstone, staked to the ground while vultures pick you bones.
Or take a swim in the burning lakes of fire while you listen to the cries of the damned.
If communing with nature is not your thing, you can choose to visit the solitary torments of your own mind.
Boredom won't be a issue as you relive all the horrible things in your life over and over again.
Now, if your not into torments of the mind, why not enjoy physical torments?
Writhe in agony as your skin is flayed from your body and red hot nails are driven deep into your flesh.
You and those around you will be able to see the joy of your demon tormentors as they rend your body.
Plus, for the very worst of you, the oath breakers and traitors, we have ICE!
Fields of ice and snow where you will sit, frozen for all eternity unable to close your eyes or move as you watch the outcome of all your treachery.
So, choose now where you want to go.
Live your life so you can get down here.
Remember our convenient payment plan.
Buy now and Pay Forever.