Sarah kept careful watch over the man across the crowded room. She slowly made her way through the tangled mass of darkly clothed people, their sadness not her concern, until finally she was by his side.
Quiet tears overtook her as she stood before the polished mahogany coffin. Within laid the charred remains of her sister-in-law and two nieces. The casket was kept closed, for obvious reasons. Sarah would rather remember them as they were when she saw them last, a mere four days ago.
Tim’s wife, Carrie, so exuberant and always laughing, had stopped over on her way home from shopping, having bought Sarah the cutest purse as a thank you for baby-sitting the girls the night before.
The twins, Annie and Allie, were passed out in their car seats, chubby cheeks moved rhythmically while they sucked on pacifiers during peaceful slumber. Sarah peeked in the window and smiled at the cherubs she so adored.
Then it was a quick hug from Carrie, a laugh, a wave and they were gone.
The police report said the oil tanker ran the red light at speeds of fifty miles a hour. Carrie’s Explorer was instantly engulfed in a massive fireball, and there was no way anyone one would have ever survived. All that remained of Tim’s little family easily fit in the coffin beneath his fingertips.
Everyone’s concern now was on Tim, who, when hearing the news, had to be sedated for fear of him hurting himself in his anguish. He spoke not a single word after coming out of his drug induced sleep. But he was aware of what was going on, what had happened, and only communicated in nods, or tears. Everyone wondered what thoughts went through a man’s mind who had just lost everything that mattered to him.
Sarah covered Tim’s hand with her own, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Tim, oh God, Tim…I am so, so sorry sweetie. Listen, don’t worry about the rest of this stuff. I will take care of everything, ok? “
Still getting no response, she queried, “Want me to drive you home now?”
He looked up finally, and whispered. “I think I’ll walk.”
He then turned, and walked away from his life, his heart now mere ashes and bones within a wooden box. Mourners parted for him to pass, trying to comfort him, but he saw no one, heard no one.
All that mattered to him now was saying good-bye to his family in his own way and he thought of no better place than Lawson Creek Bridge. It was where he proposed to Carrie a dozen years ago, and where she would show him the ultrasounds, again and again, of their medical miracle babies. They talked there, dreamed there, it was their special spot. Yes, he thought, perfect. His decision made, he walked onward, his zombie like steps becoming more purposeful, his heart beat wildly though feeling a little lighter.
For the first time since his life lost meaning, he smiled.