Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. The rhythm of the bus tires on the worn concrete marked the time for Alyssa. Each bump brought her closer to home, closer to the end of her journey. Or to the start of the next.
Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. You fool, you fool, you fool. The rhythm worked its way into her soul, mocking her. She had been so arrogant, so naïve. She had been Homecoming Queen, head cheerleader, president of the drama league. She was pretty, smart, talented. She was the best her town had to offer, and the town was at her feet. She had conquered Sheboygan – she would conquer Hollywood, too.
They had tried to warn her, tried to hold her back. But she wouldn’t listen. At 18, Alyssa knew better. She wasn’t going to let a bunch of mid-western hicks talk her out of her dream. She knew what the real world was like, and she wasn’t afraid. She was arrogant, proud.
You fool, you fool, you fool. She was a fool. A proud fool. Hollywood was ready for her. It welcomed her arrogance, her pride, and wrapped her in its embrace. Then, holding her close, it feasted off her innocence. Trapped in a world she didn’t understand, she lost it all – her arrogance, her pride, her innocence.
Her pride was the last to go. Long after the first two were gone, pride kept her from going home. Better to sell her soul than to admit she was wrong. And she had willingly sold it, night after lonely night.
Tears stung Alyssa’s eyes as she remembered the horror of the police station. The black ink under her fingernails, the stench of the holding cell, and the jaded eyes of the officers filled her mind. And the word. Solicitation. On the forms it looked so stark, so simple, so – sickening.
Her one phone call was to her mother. The conversation was short, if not sweet. Her mother didn’t waste time with questions or recriminations. She took care of bail and had a ticket waiting at the bus station. The next step was up to Alyssa.
Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. She was going home. Would her parents accept her? She wasn’t their sweet little girl anymore. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a stranger. Who would her parents see?
***
She stood at the bus station waiting, hoping. The ticket had been picked up, but would it be used? Or would it be sold?
The call had been short and painful. She didn’t ask any questions. Alyssa needed her, and she had been there. She would always be there. There would be plenty of time to talk, after Alyssa came home. If she came home.
Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. She looked up as the next bus pulled into the station. The sleek greyhound logo on the side was barely visible through the crust of road salt. Like a great beast of burden, it slowly lumbered to a halt. With a final hiss, the bus stopped and the doors folded back, opening to release their precious cargo. Passengers started to straggle off. She held her breath, hoping – praying – that Alyssa would be the next to emerge.
She watched as a thin young woman stepped off the bus. Her eyes went past her to the next passenger, then flicked back. The woman’s shoulders were hunched, as if she were trying to shield herself from the world. Her dirty hair hung limply around her face, and her skirt was too short for the cold Wisconsin winter. But she looked familiar. The passenger paused, then hesitantly lifted her head and looked around. Alyssa.
***
Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. The rhythm slowed, then stopped, as they pulled into the station. She stayed in her seat until she was the last one left. Finally, she couldn’t delay the moment any longer. As she started down the steps, a cold wind swirled around her. She braced herself for the cold – and the truth.
She took a few steps towards the station, then paused. It was time to face her future. She started to lift her head…
…and was suddenly engulfed in a huge embrace. She had a flashback to her childhood, when her mom kissed her skinned knee, then held her until the pain went away. She leaned into the other woman, drawing strength and comfort from her. The cold breeze blew against the warm tears streaming down her face, her tears, her mother's tears, mingling together to soften the pain. Her mother’s breath softly stirred her hair.
“Welcome home, Alyssa. Welcome home.”