“Welcome to the final of the men’s 100m hurdles. First up is Doctor Seuss who has asked could he, should he compete on a goat, and should he, could he in a boat?”
“And his opponent, Doctor Hannibal ‘the Cannibal’ Lecter.”
“And they’re under starter’s orders … oh, did Doctor Lecter just ask the starting official if he had a nice Chianti?”
“No, he’s eaten the starter’s tongue.”
“Oh dear. The starter has shot him point blank in the face …“
“… But that was the starting pistol so the race is officially under way. Doctor Seuss has attempted to climb onto Lecter’s back, but is discovering that it is indeed a bad idea to hop on Doc.”
“Doctor Lecter has left the field to chase the starting official .. and Doctor Seuss has been distracted by a butterfly.”
“And that brings us to the end of another thrilling race!”