On my first day at Vendy-Qwik. The work order listed the following repairs I was to perform on the old ciggarette vending machine in front of me.
1. Attach chair rockers to bottom
2. Place "Please hold up Valid ID" sticker on front, underneath coin slot
3. Install IOU receptor, place sharpened (#2) pencil in receptor basket along with fresh memo pad
4. Refresh paint details on side "Kick Here" target, front title "Farm Fresh" wording
5. Stock with fresh eggs on top shelf, hens on mid shelf (found in filing cabinet, under BOK-BOK) and margarine sticks on bottom row (please follow precisely as the margarine may dent if it falls further than bottom shelf height)
After these repairs are made, please deliver to corner of 5th and Broad, no electricity neccessary. Iinstall between FlapJax Fast and TBonez ToGo machines. Submit signed work order to Sal.
As may already be obvious, there is a conflict of interest, and while this machine was delivered, I cannot abide participating in any similar transactions in the future. Therefore, please consider this my resignation letter.
Much Obliged,
Tom de Lance, Chicken ( and PROUD father to 3 eggs of my own!)