Dear Santa,
Mommy told me I’m on the naughty list because I told her I kissed a girl in a private place. I kissed her in the closet. Mommy and daddy don’t go to a private place when they kiss. I saw them kiss in the living room and in the kitchen and sometimes in the dining room. You can put them on the naughty list if you want but it wont matter because they don’t play with toys anyway. So if you don’t bring them toys I don’t think they will care. Kissing girls should not make me be put me on the naughty list because kissing is not naughty. I saw mommy kiss you by our Christmas tree last Christmas. I want to be just like mommy so if she gets to kiss lots of boys then I get to kiss lots of girls. And you and Mrs. Clause kiss. I saw you kiss on TV yesterday. I used to think kisses and hugs were good things. I still do but they’re not such good things if they make me be put on the naughty list. You know how love is don’t you Santa. You can try to hide from it but the girls will find you. That’s what happened when I kissed the girl in the closet. I was hiding from love and she found me. So it’s really her fault and she should be on the naughty list. But you shouldn’t put her on the naughty list because we are getting married when we’re grown up so we will be kissing a lot in the future anyway.
Love,
Timmy
P.s. If you want to bring me a flashlight for Christmas along with all of my other presents I sure could use it next time I’m in the closet.