JOB DESCRIPTION: The garbage bag eaters. They specialize in eating nothing but filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. Very few people have enlisted here, so the pay is pretty good.
WHAT MAKES ME QUALIFY: I have been sifting through trash since I was a little kid living on the streets. Eating garbage has been a childhood memory of mine. What am I? I am a hobo, and that makes me the perfect person for it.