Felix opened one eye lazily and blinked at the intruders fumbling with the catch on the window. Darn amateurs.
One of them fell through, slid and squeaked to a halt on the kitchen floor. His - or perhaps her - accomplice followed suit getting all six of its limbs in a muddle before somehow managing to right itself and help the other one up.
"Be careful, you idiot!"
"Hey why don't you just keep quiet, wise guy, this was your idea, and that landing you made in the backyard wasn't exactly neat"
"Well, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't screamed in fright when we nearly hit the tree!"
"And whose fault was that, Mr. Sure-I-know-how-to-fly-this-thing? I swear you have the co-ordination of a pupa, and don't expect me to have to have to explain the scratch marks on Dad's new paint job!"
"Yeah, but navigation was your responsibility, how was I to know that thing would suddenly appear out of nowhere?"
"Ever thought about keeping your eyes open, poop for brains? One would think that out of seventeen you could at least keep one focused on the flight path…"
Then proceeded a fist fight, but with the noticeable absence of fists and rather a lot more tentacles, mandibles and claws.
Felix stretched, yawned and sat up on the edge of the refrigerator and peered down at the purple ensemble thrashing about on the floor.
"Excuse me, but if you don't mind, I'm trying to nap" he hissed, swishing his tail from side to side.
"What the...?" the creature fumbled in the creases of its exoskeleton and produced a laser baton and pointed it, shivering, at the cat.
"I think the line is 'Take me to your leader', and I wouldn't use that if I were you, the business end is pointing at your abdomen," Felix rolled his eyes and licked a paw, "I assume from your bewilderment that you haven't really done your homework on cats. We have nine lives, you know"
"Um…"
"Right, if you're looking for the humans, they left a couple of hours ago, and by the way, the door's unlocked, it would have been much easier to get in that way."
The creature lowered the weapon and looked at its partner who made a gesture that could only be described as a shrug. Felix jumped to the counter and ignoring the water bowl, drank from the sink. He wandered into the living room and settled himself in a patch of sun on the windowsill.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
"Add him to our collection?"
"Exactly! All those cows are becoming a bit difficult to hide. It's not nearly as valuable as a human, but will do nicely. We really should be getting out of here now."
Felix's whiskers twitched and he flicked an ear. He ignored the imposters as they made a feeble attempt at creeping up on him. Just when they were about to grab him, he uncurled his spiraled body to face them, his tail hanging down over the sill. There was a clutter as one of them tripped on the mat.
“Really fellers, if it’s your wish that I accompany you home, you need but ask. Shall we?” He sprung to the floor and tip-toed to the cat flap, his tail shot straight up in the air, all except the tip, which flipped from side to side like a question mark watching tennis. Thirty four eyes blinked in unison.
The trespassers scrambled after him and fought over who would try and squeeze through first. “Try the handle you morons, Good grief, for a highly evolved species, you’re not very bright” Felix sauntered over the lawn and shot a smug look at a bewildered pigeon perched on the fence. He climbed the ladder and settled down on the dash board as his ‘captors’ stumbled inside.
---------
The flight was fairly uneventful. Uneventful meaning that a couple of phone lines got tangled in the landing gear upon take off and they lost a wing mirror. Other than that, Felix managed to catch up on some much needed sleep.Several thousand light years away, he rose and twitched his whiskers again. The signal was coming loud and clear.
Ground crew, please prepare for landing. Over.
Everything’s in place Sir, do we need back up? Over.
Negative. This should be all over in a couple of minutes. Proceeding to hangar 7. Over…
Felix flipped the auto-land switch on the control panel.
“Hey! Whadda ya think you’re...” the pilot started before Felix cut him off.
“Fellers, consider yourselves busted!” he flashed the ID disc on his collar. “Special Agent Felix Katz, Department of Juvenile correction services. Your little escapades have come to a halt. You will proceed to give yourselves up to the law enforcement officers waiting on the ground and from there you’ll be escorted to the juvenile wing of the Xerox correctional institute. I do not recommend resisting... Do you understand?” They hung their heads and nodded. He escorted them down the ramp till they came face to face, (so to speak, the creatures had 'features' but calling it a face would be pushing it a bit) with a larger and somewhat deeper purple version of the two delinquents. One was sobbing and the other was eyeing the scratches down the side of the ship and looked ready to commense with slowly dismembering the culprits.
Felix swaggered over to the officer in charge. “I trust that payment has been arranged” he said.
“Oh yes Sir, exactly as you stipulated” came the reply and he - or perhaps she - motioned to a table set with caviar and cream.
“Pleasure doing business with you folk,” he purred, and left, licking his chops.