Two of the most statistical minds in the county were doing battle. Pat (the meteorologist for WGAG television) and Alec (the weatherman for KBAT radio) where at it again. The argument had nothing to do with whether rain would spoil the fair though. On that, both were in agreement, and were wrong as usual. They might be able to tell you how 1902 had the most rainfall on record, or how the big freeze in 1957 had caught everyone off guard and subsequently ruined the crop that year, but they were lucky if their forecasts were correct on the day they were given.
No, this bout was in regards to another claim that they both held. Trivial as it would seem to most, these two regarded any and all facts to be within their domain. And an award winning melon definitely fit the bill. Every year they could be spotted at the various booths of the fair, giving their opinions as to how this and that would rate. Both had memorized (at least according to themselves) all the Guiness records for everything, and thus could not be wrong
Not to be outdone on anything, both their households held complete encyclopedias, decades worth of farmers almanacs, and assorted magazines, ranging from National Geographic to Mad. They were bound and determined to be the most knowledgeable person alive. This can probably be traced back to their father’s side of the family. His lifelong pursuit of appearing on a television game show was not isolated. The grandfather had the same goal for radio. Their father had made a vow when the twins were born, that if he could not reach his goal in life, at least one of his sons would. The only other thing that the father demanded was that they be servants to the community. He had been a policeman, his father a fireman, his father before that a politician. Both sons thought meteorology fit that bill.
While most of heir fights remained in the verbal category, at times they had come down to fisticuffs. One wonders if how many bloody noses each had sustained by the other was also one of the statistics they kept. Luckily for them, both being celebrities, they usually had a crowd observing them in their antics at the fair. If it looked like they might start getting overly zealous, it would take no time at all for a policeman to reach the scene to break things up.
They were getting a bit boisterous, arguing about the fruit on the stand, but it was still just relegated to noise at this point. There was a little lady in front of them that was trying to get a word in, but it was impossible to break through those two storm fronts. A gentleman saw this and intervened on behalf of the lady. He pushed the twins apart and calmly (though loudly) told them to shut up for a second and listen to what she had to say. Blushing a bit in embarrassment, the twins quieted down and looked to the lady for her comment.
She explained to them that she was the grower of the fruit, and if they would be so kind as to look behind the stand they would see rows of various teas filling the shelves. They would also see that the stand was for the “ Exotic Iced Tea” company. A promotional stand, and not a judging booth. The fruit they were arguing about she said was a lemon, not a melon!
It appears the twins had one thing more in common, color blindness. However, this did not stop them from then debating on the merits of that lemon.